Collision
by MaryLouJan
Summary: After a car crash involving Jane, it's up to Maura to fix the damage. Just read and then you know what's this about :-
1. Chapter 1

**Hey folks. This is my first real fic. So please be nice. :-) And for the record english is not my mother tongue. I just had it in school. So if there are spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes, it is absolutely and only my fault ;-)**

**Oh yeah and I don't own Rizzoli and Isles, unfortunately. **

* * *

The asphalt glistered under the September Boston sun. It had been a very hot summer until now. Every now and then the younger ones cracked the hydrants in the Boston streets to cool down the city. Sometimes it helped, sometimes it did not.

It had been a very turbulent year. Murders had been solved, kidnappings ended, mobs arrested, friendships kitted but also people had been rejected by the past, the truth, their own flesh and blood. Jane had not told Maura until she had shot Paddy Doyle, Maura's biological father that she felt more than their usual friendship, but she was not sure if Maura felt the same. It had been actually very funny because Jane is not the kind of type who expresses feelings or even talks about them that much. They had been, after Jane saved Maura's life in the woods, in the Dirty Robber like almost every evening after work. Jane had nursed her third beer and Maura had been talking about the latest victim that had been murdered by Sensei Matta. Jane had not really been listening lost in her own thoughts 'til Maura had looked her straight in the eyes with a questioning look. 'I love you' Jane had said with her typical smile. Maura had just looked at her a little confused by Jane's confession. Maura knew Jane loved her like a sister and she had been accepted by the whole Rizzoli family though that she felt the same for Jane. 'I love you too Jane' Maura had answered. Jane had chuckled and taken a sip of her beer. 'Not like I love you Maura' and with those words Jane had emptied her beer, stood up and left a stunned Maura back at the Dirty Robber. She had been shocked at Jane's confession. When she could compose herself again Jane had disappeared already. Maura had thrown a couple of dollar notes on the table and run after Jane. She could not believe what Jane had meant by these three words. She could not believe the possibility that Jane felt the same and she could not believe that Jane was the one who had said those words.

Outside Jane had kicked herself mentally. How could she have been so stupid? She had just confessed her love to her best friend her only best friend. _Tomorrow_, she had told herself _I'm gonna clear this_ _up as a mistake_. She had thrown her blazer jacket over her slumped shoulders and walked along the street when she had heard Maura calling for her. She just had shaken her head and turned around to explain this mistake to Maura when their lips met crashing together. Maura had grabbed her by her shirt and pulled her close to herself as their lips opened slightly and Maura welcomed Jane's smooth tongue in her mouth. It had been a very passionate kiss and everything had changed afterwards.

They had not been quite sure what and when had changed their feelings towards but they had been pleased to know that those were mutual. Jane had not been with a woman before Maura but she had experimented in college and of course to Maura love had nothing to do with the gender as such as the person. They had not told anyone at work due to Jane's fear of being rejected. Maura had as gentle as she was accepted Jane's plea not to act in a suspicious way. Although Maura had no problem with Jane's wish she could not quite understand where it had come from. Her mother loved her in a way that she had nothing to fear. Her brothers always had the suspicion that Janie was not into guys and Frost and Korsak would not mind if her colleague was betting for the other team. So they kept their growing relationship a secret.

Today was actually a very calm day. Their last murder had been solved and Jane had had an appearance at court but other than that the murders and Boston seemed to be on vacation or it was just too hot to commit any crimes. Maura was at home. Unfortunately no murders meant no work for Maura. As a Chief Medical Examiner of the Massachusetts Commonwealth she just worked murders or suspicious death'. For other than that she had her staff.

On her way back from court Jane and Frost sat in their car talking about the verdict.

'I can't believe that he only got 15 years.' Jane said taking a sip of her coffee.

'Yeah' replied Frost. 'I don't understand it either. I mean that guy killed his wife and their kids and got away with just that short of time.'

'So he gets out in what 12 years if he manages good behavior.' Jane was angry. She never understood how murderers, rapists or other perpetrators could get such a short amount of time although it was quite clear that they meant to be looked up lifetime.

Frost looked out of their car as they drove back to headquarters. He looked at Jane and took a sip of his now cold coffee.

'You know Jane' he started and glazed back on the street 'you could have told us.'

Jane's head spun around like something or someone had hit her. 'What?' she asked and failed to manage to stay calm. 'What do you mean?' She asked again as she had composed herself again. _Shit _she thought to herself _so much to keep it a secret. If Frost knows everybody else does too._

'You and Maura.' Frost simply stated and closed the window now the air-condition did its work.

Jane shook her head and smiled. 'I don't know what you mean Frost but Maura and I are just friends, well best friends but just friends.' She tried so hard to concentrate on the streets that she missed out the truck that just passed a red light on the intersection.

It all went down in less than a minute. Frost yelled something she could hardly understand when the truck hit the driver side of their car and shoved them half way down the intersection.

Frost was the first one to regain consciousness. _Oh my god_ he thought. He looked over to where the truck had hit them. Jane was trapped in the crushed metal. Her head back on the seat covered in her own blood. It was a weird picture because half of Jane couldn't be seen under the crushed metal.

People came running now to the crash site offering their help. Frost climbed out of the now missing windshield. 'I'm a cop' he yelled at the first aider. 'Call a bus right now!' The young man standing next to a very shocked Frost responded first and called for an ambulance. Meanwhile Barry climbed over the car to get a better access to Jane. _You can't just die on me now_ he thought_. Not now. What shall I tell her? _

The truck driver climbed out of his cabin and stumbled over to where Frost was trying to open the driver's door. 'I'm so sorry, I think I missed the red light' that was all he managed to say. Frost didn't even listen to him he tried to reach for Jane.

'Jane can you hear me' he yelled when he got a little closer to the window that was shattered. 'Jane you gotta wake up, please wake up!' He stroked the hair out of her bloody face. 'Jane, please.'

She stirred then a groan. Slowly Jane's eyes fluttered open. _Fuck _she thought _I feel like I've been hit_ _by a truck_. And then it came back to her they had been hit by a truck. 'Frost' she whispered. He was by her side instantly. 'Jane we were…' but he didn't get the chance to say what was on his tongue.

'Tell her' Jane started to chock blood his eyes wide in horror 'I love her.' And then everything went black.

* * *

**Let me know if I shall continue...**


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys. Thanks a lot for those great reviews. I just finished chapter 2 but it is not that long because I can't sit that long after my intervertebral disk operation. So the updates won't be and that I am sorry for on a daily basis. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 2

_Gosh_ Maura thought _it is really exhausting if you do your housework in on day._

Since three days she was at home doing well nothing efficient to be precisely. On her first day home she had looked over some autopsy reports of two Jane and John Doe death'. Nobody knew these people. They had been found dead in an unmarked car no license plates in the Charles River. Both had been naked. But there had been no drugs in their system, no dread marks to where the car must have hit the water, no nothing. Just two dead young people naked in a car on the bottom of the Charles'.

After a really nice day in bed with Jane on the second day, unfortunately interrupted by Angela and her typical Sundays family dinner, Maura had decided to do some cleaning around and in the house. It's not that the house looked dirty or chaotic, like Jane's apartment looked all the time but Maura liked it clean and tidy. Jane often made fun of her that everything had to be tidy in the right order and sometimes sterile. Jane was convinced that an apartment or a house had to be a little untidy in order to see that there actually somebody was living and it wasn't a museum. But due to her attitude she enjoyed being over at Maura's. Like she loved the woman she also loved her house.

It was now after 4 p.m. and only the half of the stuff she wanted to clean was cleaned. There were still those damn windows left. And Maura hated to clean the windows. She sighed and went to the little spare bathroom to fill a bucket with water. Her thoughts wandered to Jane and her "house-cleaning". Well, she did it maybe once a month while her mother all the time went to Jane to tidy and clean her mess up. Maura smiled at that thought. She really loved Angela. She knew Jane most times hated her mothers' behavior due to her children but as an adopted only child which never really got the love it had longed so long for Maura adored Angela as a mother. Jane always said it's the fact that they are Italians' but Maura knew better.

Well, after she had known Paddy Doyle was her biological father her whole world was turned upside down. She always wanted to know her biological parents but knowing your father was a mobster wasn't really what she had longed for. It took weeks for Jane to convince Maura that she wasn't evil in any kind of way. O.K. she was a bit strange, Maura was an antisocial, very clinical and rational person 'The Queen of the Dead' but that was what Jane was attracted to, the googlemouth, the fact that Maura always had an explanation. But that had changed over the month since she and Jane were in this relationship.

Maura took the bucket and the chamois and started cleaning the window in the kitchen. It wasn't even really dirty but Maura needed something to distract herself until Jane came back from her deposition at court. She had lived so long alone in Bacon Hill but since Angela had moved into the guesthouse she hated being alone_. Angela should be home in a bit_ she thought.

And there it was this pang of guilt. She was Jane's mother not hers. Her mother was Constance Isles who was a famous art professor and no real time for her only daughter. Maura sighed. And then there was Dr. Hope Martin her biological mother.

After the incident at the warehouse Doyle had less or more revealed the first name of Maura's mother. _Hope._ After that her world was once again turned upside down. She had not told Jane that she had found out that it was Dr. Hope Martin. She had kept it a secret. But Jane knew Maura and she was the best Detective of the Boston homicide division. So she found out and told Maura to go for it. Jane's words. And Maura went for it. Nobody knew that it would end in such a chaos and a second rejection for Maura. She had cried herself many nights in Jane's arms to sleep. And after all her tears had subsided their she was again. Dr. Maura Isles.

A tear escaped her left eye and she whipped it angrily away. She had a family. The Rizzoli's and the Boston Police Department. And Jane, the best of Boston's finest. She smiled at that thought.

When Maura had cleaned everything that had seemed dirty she gave Bass some strawberries.

"Bass, it is time for your dinner" she said loud enough for the tortoise to hear it. Jane had told Maura bluntly as she sometimes was that her 'pet' would fit. If he wanted to shut out the world he could hid in his shell. Maura often did the same thing. She hid behind science the rational part of the world.

She glanced at the clock. After 5 p.m. and no word from Jane. She knew that a deposition took its time. Right at that moment the back door opened and Angela came in.

"Hello dear" she greeted Maura and sat the brown bags from the grocery store on the kitchen counter. Maura went over and gave her a slight hug.

"Hello Angela" she replied a took a seat on one of the barstool. Angela let her gaze wander over the kitchen and the windows. She chuckled.

"I see you were bored honey." Maura flushed a little.

"Well, you know that I like my home clean and tidy." She answered and started to unpack the grocery bags from Angela. Since Angela had moved into the guest house she came almost over every evening to cook for both of them or for the three of them when Jane was around.

"Yeah, I know Maura," she stated and put a bottle of olive oil on the counter. "Unlike my dear daughter you hate to leave a mess behind." She smiled and put the six pack of Sam Adam's she had bought for Jane in the fridge.

"Speak of which, where is Jane by the way?" Angela turned around to help Maura put the rest of the groceries aside. "Shouldn't she here by now?"

Maura sighed and went to her wine cooler to get a bottle of chardonnay. "Yes, she should. But you know how Jane is when she has a court appointment." Maura chuckled. The last court appearance had been a disaster. During her deposition the defendant had jumped out of his seat and attacked the 'stupid bitch-cop' who was trying to put him behind bars. The result had been a black eye and a slit lip. That evening had ended with a cool bag on her head a dosage of Tylenol.

"Maura?" Angela suddenly asked. It was never a good sign when Angela Rizzoli had a question especially addressed to Maura. She turned around and took a sip of her wine.

"What is going on between you and Janie?"

For every other person it would have been easy to answer this question. The y would have answered with 'Oh nothing, everything is fine.' But not Maura. She chocked on her glass and set it on the counter.

"Well, ehm, its..." Maura flushed. And before she could even finish the sentence she heard Angela.

"I knew it!" she said triumphant. "You two of you, there is more than friendship, isn't it?" Angela's gaze got too intense for Maura and she looked away. She knew she could not lie not to anyone or she would go vasovagal but not in particular to Jane's mother.

"I love her." Were Maura's only words as she looked down to the floor. It wasn't the whole truth but it was true. Maura loved Jane from the bottom of her heart. She had realized it over a year ago when Jane shot herself in order to save her and her brother's life. And she was so grateful that Jane replied those feelings.

"Sweetie" Angela interrupted her thoughts "I knew it." Maura looked up from her point she had fixed on the floor. Her eyes full of fear. Jane would kill her, well not quite kill her in the murder kind of way but verbal. She knew Jane wanted it to keep it a secret until she felt it was right to come out in front of her friends and family.

"Angela..." Maura started but was interrupted by a phone. Maura hopped of the stool and went over to her purse on the rack and searched for her phone. After finding it between all the 'needless stuff' Jane called it she looked at the display. Detective Frost was calling. She opened her phone.

"Detective Frost" she said in a kind tone.

"Maura." His voice was a mixture of fear and adrenalin. She knew something was wrong. He never greeted her by her first name.

"Jane?" she just asked as fear crept up her back. Silence.

"Yes, but Maura it is bad, really bad."

* * *

Wanna know how it goes on?

P.S. Mistakes are mine ;-)


	3. Chapter 3

**Hm since the reviews are that great I couldn't resist to go on.**

**Her is chapter three. Please be kind. ;-)**

* * *

Chapter 3

The ride to the Massachusetts General Hospital was silent, well more like chastened. Neither Maura nor Angela had talked since Frost had told them that there had been a car accident involving him and Jane. He just had told her that she should drive there immediately and that Jane's condition was bad. He knew Maura. If he had told her that they had been hit in the driver side by a truck Maura would have started to calculated the impact and the possible injuries one could suffer off. So he just had told her it was bad.

Angela had not said one word. Maura thought maybe she had gone in shock or had not really processed what had happened. But she did not know that she prepared herself for the worst. She knew Maura and she knew Barry Frost. If Barry didn't tell Maura what exactly had happened it had to be worse than bad.

Maura arrived in front of the hospital emergency entrance and jumped out of the car. She did not even think about finding a parking lot. She left Angela with open doors in the car and jogged through the emergency area.

A nurse stopped her. "Miss you can't just leave your car outside in the ER area."

Maura blinked twice and tried to find her composure. She turned around to give Angela a sign but just saw her license plate. Maura winced at her mistake. _Shit_ she thought _I storm off like a crazy one and leave Angela, Jane's mother behind to park my car. Crap. So much for rational behavior. _

_I'm gonna apologize later. But now I have to…_ "Excuse me?"

Her thoughts were interrupted. A blond short nurse tapped on her shoulder. Maura turned around. "Yes?" replied Maura.

"Are you Miss Isles?" the nurse asked. Maura wanted to correct her mistake by telling her she was a doctor but just nodded in response. "In cabin 2 is a Detective Frost who is asking for you."

The nurse led her to the cabin and drew the curtain. There he sat on a bed pretty banged up. Maura automatically scanned over his injuries.

_Cut over his right brow. Will require 7 stitches. Black eye. Just some ice pack. Cut on his lower forearm, 15 stitches. Maybe a mild concussion. If he had the seatbelt on, a heavy bruising over his upper thorax. _Maura shock off her medical thoughts and looked Frost in the eyes as a young but good-looking doctor stitched up his wound on his forearm.

"What happened?" she asked afraid of the answer. Frost shifted slightly and ran his hand over his head.

"I told her to tell you herself." Was his first response. Maura frowned. What the hell is he talking about? She tried again.

"What happened Barry?" The doctor looked up and shock his head when his patient was at a loss of words_. He definitely has a concussion_ Maura thought. But then he answered.

"There came a truck out of nowhere" he started but was interrupted by a gasp. Maura knew exactly what that meant. She had been on the impact side.

"Jane was driving and" he paused. "She didn't listen damn." Maura was shocked by his reaction and frowned again. She knew Frost and she never had seen him like that. He tried again.

"I…I told her I would drive back to headquarter but she wouldn't listen. It would be me instead of her." He let his shoulders hung and shock his head. Maura winced at his statement.

At that moment Angela stepped into the ER. Now frantic she looked for Maura and found her with Frost. The younger doctor had disappeared to give them space to talk. Angela rushed to their side and hugged Detective Frost. Maura and Barry were confused by Angela's emotional reaction but they didn't say a word.

"What happened to my baby Detective Frost?" she asked with a teary voice. He looked Maura straight in the eyes as if he needed her approval to tell. She nodded. He cleared his throat to get his professional voice back. So he told the whole story from the beginning.

"After Jane's testimony she insisted in driving back to the precinct because I was the one who drove her to court." He stopped and shock his head. He took a deep breath and continued. "So we drove all way back but at Fenway/Westland a truck ran the red light and crushed into the driver's side." Frost looked up and ran his right hand over his face. Then and that was something both Angela and Maura hadn't seen coming Barry Frost started to cry. Maura still didn't know what had happened to Jane how serve her injuries were but Barry Frosts reaction gave her the answer she needed. Jane fought for her life. Angela had taken a seat next to Detective Frost and comforted him. She didn't know what to say either so she just stroked his head and told him everything would be fine. _It would_ _wouldn't it? _Her glance went over to Maura who and that you could see was trying to process everything that had happened in the last hour. _She can't lose her now. But I can't lose her either._

With those thoughts Angela got up hugged Barry Frost and went to comfort Maura instead.

"We have to find her doctor." Angela whispered into Maura's ear when she hugged the honey blond.

Maura nodded absently into Angela's shoulder and then straightened herself. _Please Jane you have to live._

Maura went to the clerk desk in the ER not sure whether she would find her voice again. When she arrived she looked up. An older looking black nurse smiled at her. "What can I do for you?" she asked politely. Maura sighed and ran a hand through her blond hair. _Talk, dammit!_ She closed her eyes.

"Ma'am is everything okay?" the nurse asked and came around her desk. Maura a little to overwhelmed by that gesture took a step back and ran again a hand through her hair.

"Yes, I'm…., yes I'm fine. I just…" and then her voice broke. The nurse was by her side immediately and led her to ne nearest chair.

"It's okay." The nurse assured her. "I'll get you a glass of water." Maura was to overcome to answer. She just sat broken on that chair and starred into nowhere. Never ever had she thought of feeling so powerless? She was logical, clinical, stoic, rational even well just Maura but this emotional roller costar right now was unbearable. _You can't die Jane, please don't die! I need you._

She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to fight the tears when the nurse came back and held out a plastic cup of water. Maura looked up and took it grateful. Nurse Kelly, that was the name on her tag, got on her knees and looked at a now childlike woman. When Maura had emptied her cup, Kelly took it and threw it in the trash can behind the desk.

"Her name is Jane Rizzoli, right?" Kelly asked out of the blue. "The detective from the car crash."

Maura's eyes widened in shock and she tried to stand up but nurse Kelly pushed her down in the seat.

"No, no no, it's okay. She is alive." Kelly assured her. "She is in surgery right now." Maura's with fear lined face softened a little bit by that information. The nurse gave her a tissue. Maura looked at her in disbelief. She had not noticed the tears that had fallen from her hazel eyes. She took it and whipped them away.

"I'm gonna get the doc who was assigned to her in trauma." The nurse said as she stood up and walked down the hall.

Meanwhile Barry had been stitched up and bandaged. The doctor said that he should stay overnight, in case of a concussion but he had insisted on signing the AMA. Angela had tried to talk him out of that but she knew he was as stubborn as her daughter. It was a cop thing. At least she was able to get him to take some of the prescribed pain medication. She knew how pain full a rather large cut could be. She was the mother of three Rizzoli's.

When everything was signed Angela and Detective Frost went over t Maura and both took a seat next to her. Angela smiled weakly and gave Maura's hand a squeeze when a very tall and muscular man in his forties approached them. "You are relatives of Detective Rizzoli?" he asked in a very low voice.

Angela stood up and nodded. "Yes, we all are." She paused and looked him in the eyes. "And you are?" she asked.

"Oh yes, where are my manners. I am Doctor Ted Steiner. I was the assigned ER physician." He reached out one of his hands and Angela shock it. "I'm Jane's mother, Angela Rizzoli. And these two, Detective Frost and Dr. Maura Isles are work colleagues."

_Colleagues. _This one word struck Maura right in the face. _She introduced me as a colleague, not her best friend_ she thought. _She doesn't approve, she… _Her thoughts were interrupted.

"As you all know was Miss Rizzoli…" Now anger boiled in Maura. She stood up. "Detective. It's Detective_, Doctor Steiner_." He took a step back and continued.

"Right, Detective Rizzoli has severe injuries. Due to the impact of the truck her whole left side was stuck in the car." He stopped and looked at the patient chart in his hand then he cleared his throat.

"Her pelvis is shattered; the hemerus has a slither fracture. Her ulna and radius are also fractured but it's a clean fracture." Maura had enough. She knew what he was talking about but not Angela nor Barry.

"Can't you" she stopped to cool a little down. Then she started again. "Can't you just tell them in English? They aren't doctors." Dr. Steiner slightly shocked by this outburst just nodded.

"Her upper arm has a slither fracture, her lower arm a clean one. Ribs three, four and five are also fractured and punctured the lung." He stopped and let them take the information in. "She also has a whiplash and we found a subdural and epidural bleeding." Maura gasped. She knew what that meant. _Neurological damage. _Angela confused by Maura's reaction looked at Dr. Steiner. He understood.

"That means that Jane's head hit something very hard. The airbag didn't work. They have to open her up and release the pressure and the blood." He explained. Now it was Angela's turn. She took two steps back and let herself sink in the chair. Her face was pale like she had seen death.

"Is my Janie going to die?" It was more like a whisper but Dr. Steiner continued.

"No Mrs. Rizzoli, we have the best neurosurgeon working on her right now. But you must know that there can be neurological damage." Angela's eyes started to water. "We don't know until she wakes up." Maura took the seat next to Angela and gave her a tissue. She knew she had to hold it together, no matter what just had happened.

"Another one" he started again. Maura and Angela afraid of the worst looked up at him. Dr. Steiner took a deep breath. "If she survives" he started and immediately realized his mistake. "Well, when she comes out of surgery we won't know if she can ever walk again." The eyes of all three of them widened in horror. Angela couldn't take it any longer and started to sob. Maura just blinked.

"She has two fractured vertebra. T11 and T12. We don't know if the spin cord is damaged."

* * *

**Am I evil? No, not really... or?**

**PS: this is the severe damage caused by the impact of a normal SUV at 40 mph. Tested with dummies. No kidding.**


	4. Chapter 4

**So here is another chapter it's shorter but one chapter. I really like your support to go on. Thank you**

**Mary**

* * *

Chapter 4

Maura's brain processed this information on its own way. She knew those two fractured vertebras came from the seatbelt but logic told her that those fractures were common in pileups not side crashes. She shook her head and tried to picture Jane's injuries. Tried to reconstruct the accident in her own way. _But why didn't the airbag blow up? _She turned around and looked at Frost; no acid burns on his face. _His didn't open either_. When she had composed herself again she turned to the clerk desk.

"Nurse Kelly, excuse me to interrupt you." Maura said politely. "But can you tell me how long Jane's surgery will take?" Kelly smiled and nodded. She looked through the pile of charts. "They are in OR 3. Well, due to the severe damage it will take a couple of hours. It's up to her." She took Maura's hand in her own. Maura was touched by her intention. She squeezed back.

"Come, I take you up to the waiting area and you should get something to eat if you stay." Maura wanted to protest and tell her they wouldn't dare to leave but nurse Kelly just waved her hand in dismissal. "I said get something to eat."

After Angela had called Frankie and Tommy the whole Rizzoli family was resembled in the waiting area. Korsak had come by to ask after Jane but was called into work after Crowe had found a lead in a Cold Case. They were silent nobody said a word. Frankie paced along the hallway to distract himself. Maura sat next to Frost and worked over the injuries she knew of. Barry had an expression of pain on his face, but not from physical pain more from guilt.

"I told her I would drive." He muttered and plaid nervous with the now warm icepack. Maura took his hand in hers and squeezed it.

"It is not your fault Detective Frost. You know how stubborn Jane can be. Don't blame yourself." He looked her right in the eyes.

"No. It should have been me." He loosened her grip and stood up. "You can't lose her Doc." Was his last words and then he started walk away from the group.

"Wait, Barry." Maura called after him and grabbed him by his arm. He turned around but didn't look up.

"She told me…" he started and cleared his throat. "She told me to tell you she loves you." Maura held her breath. _He knows. Who knows yet?_

"What do you mean Barry?" she asked gentle. _First name basis. He is Jane's family too._ After Maura had led him a little further away from the group she loosened the grip. She turned around and looked over to where Angela and Tommy sat. _They are too distracted._

"You two." He stated simply. Maura raised an eyebrow. "I asked her in the car. No, I… I confronted her, I distracted her." Maura cringed at those words_. Don't do that Barry._

"It's my fault!" He looked up angry at himself and tears in his eyes. "I shouldn't have asked her…" and then he broke down, in Maura's arms. She tried to hold him up but he slumped down on the floor and sobbed. You can do that. You have to hold yourself together. So he sat on the floor next to him and held him until his tears were subsided. Barry looked up at her.

"What if she doesn't make it? What if…" But Maura stopped him.

"You know that I don't like 'what ifs'" she said gently and pulled him up to the next chair. _But what if he is right?_ Maura pushed that thought as fast away as it had appeared.

"I get you something to drink" and with those words she excused herself and disappeared.

Angela had watched the whole scene but did not interfere. Tommy was now fast asleep and Frankie finally had taken a seat next to his mother. His shoulders hung and his gaze was glassy. He had not cried. He had to keep himself together, for his mother for Barry even for Tommy but especially for Maura. He knew they were a couple. Everyone knew, except from his mother but from her reaction towards Maura he knew something had changed. He took his mother's hand in his own and gently stroked it with his thumb.

"You know Maura is good for Jane." He simply stated but didn't look into his mother's eyes. She flinched a little under his statement. _I struck a nerve. _He caressed her hand now.

"Ma, I know it is hard for you to see but she loves Jane as much as Jane loves her." He looked at his mother and put a strand of hair behind her ear. Angela stood up and started pacing. "Ma,…" her middle aged son started but was interrupted by her.

"I know, I know Frankie, but it's…" she stopped and searched for the right words. "She is like a daughter too, you know that but she and Jane…." She shook her head and looked at her son.

"It's wrong, the church…" But now it was Frankie who interrupted her rambling.

"No Ma, it doesn't matter what the church says. To Jane it matters what we all think, not the church. Why do you think she hasn't told anyone?" he stopped and recognized that Maura had disappeared.

"She is afraid how we will take it, especially you and that" he went on as his mother wanted to protest. "is the wrong reaction." He now stood up and walked over to his still pacing mother.

"I know you love Maura like your own, so please accept their relationship. It was foreseen if you ask me." He whipped away his mother's tears and held onto her hands.

"Maura needs you, she needs us all now." Angela just nodded.

Outside the hospital Maura sat on the ground and had her head between her pulled up knees.

She needed air, she needed to run, she needed to distract herself and she needed Jane to be alive, to be okay. What if… _No Maura you don't do 'what ifs'_ she told herself angrily. She whipped away the sweat that had appeared on her forehead. _You can do that, you are Dr. Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner, you are…. _Her rambled thoughts were interrupted.

"Dr. Isles?" a voice asked and nurse Kelly from the ER appeared. She sat down next to Maura and held out a cup of coffee. Maura looked up.

"I thought I find you out here." She said gently and gave Maura the paper cup. "Most relatives react like you do. You are very close." She stated bluntly. Maura wasn't sure if she wanted to have such a conversation but got herself into it.

"I love her." Was the only response from her. _Yes, I love you Jane, so please…_ She didn't know what else to say that would be appropriate. Nurse Kelly smiled and nodded.

"I can see that. Don't give up on her. She will need you. She will need you all." Kelly stood up and pulled Maura with her. "Come let's get you back to the rest. We don't want the others to worry where you are." Maura adjusted her shirt and took a sip of the hot brewed black coffee. _A pleasure_.

She followed the nurse like a small child to the second floor. The others looked up and Angela got up to embrace Maura. Grateful for Angela's reaction the nurse excused herself and went to the elevator. Right at that moment the doors to the surgery area swung open and a tall blond woman in scrubs appeared.

"Are you the family of Jane Rizzoli?"

* * *

**Hm another cliffhanger^^ I can be so mean but next chapter you get to know the extent of Jane's injuries. **

**But will she survive?**

**Let me know**


	5. Chapter 5

**Once again a chapter^^ but this will be the last one for at least 2 days cause I'm on vacation^^ feel free too look out for mistakes and tell me please.**

**Mary**

* * *

Chapter 5

Everything went silent you could have heard a pin drop. Angela and Frankie were the first up out of their seats. Tommy who had had a nap whipped the sleep of his eyes. Maura's heart stopped. She could hear the blood rush in her ears. It felt like someone had hit her with a bat and she didn't even know what she was going to hear.

Like in slow motion she put one foot ahead of the other. She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe and she had the feeling she would faint in a minute. _Be strong, for Jane._ So she managed to join the group. Frost who had been wandering around leaned against the wall.

"Are you the family of Jane Rizzoli?" the doctor asked again. Maura shook of her fears and worries and responded first.

"Yes, we all are." Angela clung on to Frankie, like she would drown any minute. Tommy had appeared next to Maura and took her hand for support. Just Frost separated himself a little from this group overwhelmed by his guilt.

"Well, where shall I start." The doctor began. "First of all Jane is alive."

You could hear the relief, you could feel and see how fear was lifted off of their shoulders and you could see how all of them had held their breath.

"My name is Dr. Norton and I was the assigned trauma surgeon." She took a deep breath and continued. "Jane's state is grave that means she isn't out of the woods." Angela couldn't stifle a cry and turned around in Frankie's arms. Maura on the other side stood there with a very pale expression.

"The next 72 hours decide if she will live or die. We managed to stop the bleeding caused by the fractured ribs. We also managed to set the fractures in her left arm and the ribs." She stopped and looked at Maura. "Her fractured pelvis is also set. Unfortunately, as you all know, Jane had a whiplash. We, well Dr. Stringer our neurosurgeon, was able to stop both, the epidural and the subdural bleeding. Therefore we had to open her head up to relief blood and pressure. She now has a shunt." Tommy squeezed Maura's hand but she did not react. She tried as hard as she could to process this as her girlfriend, not as a doctor. Barry set know crumpled like a piece of trash on the floor and starred into nowhere.

"She also had two fractured vertebras. We couldn't set them because they have to heal on their own but" she paused once again and straightened herself "the spinal cord has taken its damage." she waited for a reaction but none came so she continued. "On the MRT pictures we could see that her spinal cord is incarcerated. That means we don't know if Jane has any feelings beneath the T12. She could be paralyzed." Maura blinked returning from her socked state.

"How often?" she asked out of nowhere. Dr. Norton raised an eyebrow and looked at her questioning. Maura tried again.

"How often did she code?" Maura knew that Jane had died on that table, she knew because of those injuries. She just wanted to know how often. The doctor shook her head.

"Three times." Was her response. "We won't know if there is any neurological damage because of the lack of oxygen and the bleeding. We won't until she wakes up. But for now we have her in a medical induced coma so that she can heal."

Meanwhile Frankie and Angela had taken their seats. They tried to process in their own way. Tommy hadn't spoken until yet. "Can we see her?" he asked in a childlike voice. The doctor nodded. "But only on at a time. I will get you when she is settled in CCU." Maura turned around to go over to Angela and Frankie but was interrupted by Dr. Norton.

"One more thing well, more like a question." Maura turned around and looked questioning at her.

"Who of you is Dr. Isles?" Maura snapped once again a little further out of her trance and now Frankie and Angela also looked up. Maura cleared her throat and shut her eyes.

"That would be me." She more like whispered afraid of what was to come next.

"Miss Rizzoli made you her medical power of attorney. So if there are any questions or decisions to make it is now up to you." And with those words the tall blond waved her goodbyes and left a very stunned Maura behind. _Me? Why me? Why not her mother or one of her brothers?_ she thought but already knew the answer. _Because I am a doctor. I wouldn't let her suffer, wouldn't I? Oh Jane..._

She turned around and was suddenly confronted with a very angry looking Angela.

"You." She tipped her finger against Maura's chest. She took a step back. "You made her do that didn't you?" Angela now yelled. Maura blinked twice and shook her head.

"No Angela, no I didn't." she stammered.

"Then tell me why would my baby make you her power of attorney?" she growled through gritted teeth. And then, like a knight in shining amour, Tommy stepped between the two of them.

"Because Maura is a doctor, Ma and she would make the right decisions." He simply stated_. No I wouldn't Tommy. I love her _Maura thought_._

"Yeah." came an approval from behind Angela. Frankie stood now and came over. "She wouldn't let Janie suffer and you know that. We on the other hand…" he stopped and ran a hand through his hair.

"But…" Angela started and stopped as the tears started to flow again. "She is my baby…"

Maura ripped from her trance came over to Angela and took her in an embrace. "I know and I would consult you if I had to make a decision. You are her family." She heard herself saying but didn't quite believe it herself.

A nurse appeared around the corner.

"Are you the family of Jane Rizzoli?" she asked and looked at her chart. Tommy nodded.

"Alright then follow me please." She said and turned on her heel. "She is in the CCU. Room 412, on the fourth floor. But please don't be disturbed by her sight. She is hooked up to quite everything the modern medicine has to offer." The nurse replied at the looks she got.

When they arrived the room Maura wasn't quite sure to go in first but Frankie encouraged her.

"You should go in first Maura. I'm sure mother doesn't mind. Or?" he said and turned to his mother.

Angela just shook her head and took a seat next to the door. "We will wait."

Maura closed her eyes and tried to concentrated, tried to prepare herself for what she would see.

She opened the door and gasped.

Every patient looks small in a hospital bed, especially when they are kept on life support. But Jane looked tiny almost like a small child.

She was on a respirator, had a tube down her throat that worked oxygen in and out of her damaged lungs. Half of her head was hidden under the gauze that kept the shunt in her head. _To drain the blood from her brain_. She didn't wear a gown. Due to the chest tube that had to be insert Jane was left naked under a clean whit sheet. Between her two breasts was thick white gauze. A reminder of the open chest surgery. Her left arm was in a cast and draped over her abdomen, her right arm lay loosely next to her. And then she recognized the restraints on Jane's right wrist and left upper arm. _Restrains. So she won't pull the tubes._ She also wore a stiff neck due to the whiplash. The steady beeping of the heart monitor told Maura that Jane was alive. _She lives. Jane lives._ In her right arm was a PICC line, Maura noticed. _For better medication access and nutrition._

Maura took the chair and settled herself next to Jane's bed. She took her hand and kissed it.

"Jane, it's me Maura. You are okay, you have to be okay." Maura paused and intertwined her fingers with Jane's. "I'm here and I won't leave your side baby. You know, I've got your back."

And with those words she leaned back and let, for the first time that day, her tears fall freely.

* * *

**Next?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey I'm back from vacation and now a new chapter. I ope you all enjoy it. Let me know.**

* * *

Chapter 6

Two days. It had been two days since the accident. Maura hadn't left Jane's side. Of course not! Frankie, Angela and Tommy had visited alternate. After Jane had come out of surgery it was a little after midnight. The Rizzoli's and Frost had come in short to look after Jane and then went home, only Maura had insisted to stay. The other day Angela had brought her some change clothes and a homemade meal. She was very grateful for Angela's care but they hadn't really spoken about Jane's and Maura's relationship. And she wasn't really in the mood to talk about that topic, especially without Jane's mental presence.

Two days and nothing had changed. The shunt still drained waste blood and other liquids from Jane's brain. She still was on the respirator and had a trachea tube, so she still was restrained to the bed. Added to that they had inserted a Foley catheter into her urethra because it looked like Jane wouldn't wake up to soon. In her nose stuck a feeding tube. It was a weird picture to see a confident and strong Jane hooked up on every possible tube and wire to keep her alive.

The doctors had taken her of the sedative medication but weren't that confident that she would wake up to soon due to her brain injury. After Maura had been told that Jane had suffered the internal bleeding in the frontal lobe she was quite sure that there would be neurological damage. Her heart prayed that Jane would wake up soon but her logical science brain told her the worst.

She didn't know where exactly the bleeding had occurred she was quite sure that either her ability of speech or her motor ability would be compromised though. She went over and over again, calculated what would be compromised, where it would be compromised but she didn't get a satisfying result.

And then there was the spinal cord damage.

The doctors had told Maura that TH 11 and 12 were fractured. It wasn't a comminuted fracture though but the spinal cord was jammed between the fractured vertebras and the doctors didn't know if the nourishment hadn't been compromised or even cut off. She knew Jane would be paralyzed at least at first. She had seen the x-rays and the MRT pictures and it didn't look good although the cord hadn't been damaged. With good luck and extended physical attention there was a possibility of walking again.

_Is it cruel to know that you can't walk and be relieved because of your shattered pelvis? At least you are speared from the pain when you can't feel anything._

Maura sat in her very uncomfortable chair and sipped at her coffee that Frankie had brought before his shift. She was very grateful that the Rizzoli's, especially Angela, didn't say anything that she stayed around the clock. After discussions yesterday morning with the nurses Maura had threatened them with bounce. She knew when and where to come up with her background. Since then they had brought in a second bed for Maura and they had promised not to question any of her actions again.

Detective Korsak and Frost had come to visit Jane but hadn't stayed long. Frost hadn't looked Maura in the face; he felt guilty. They left short after their arrival 'cause Cavanaugh had called them in.

So she sat there with her coffee in right hand and Jane's hand in her left one gently rubbing circles with her thumb.

"Your mother was here today and brought me some of her wonderful Gnocchi." She started after a while. Studies have shown that when you talk to a coma patient that he can remember parts of it and feels more comfortable after reawakening. She knew Jane could hear her and she wanted her to know that she was at her side, 24 hours a day.

"I shall send you her love. She doesn't feel comfortable talking to you." Maura took a sip of her coffee and placed the empty cup on a sideboard.

"Frankie was also in today, best wishes from him too. He would have stayed longer but he had to work. Since you are here he is Cavanaugh's new reinforcement." She sighed and leaned back.

"Jane I know you can hear me. You have to wake up. You have to come back to us." She leaned in and kissed Jane's nose. It was a weird picture. She didn't even look like Jane. Her head was covered in the white gauze and her face was bruised from the impact. _You have to be okay Jane please._

Maura leaned back in her chair and listened to the steady beeping of the heart monitor. The only sign that Jane was alive. The door opened and nurse Stephanie came in.

"Hello Dr. Isles." She greeted Maura with a smile. Maura looked up and nodded.

"I told you to call me Maura." She insisted. Stephanie nodded and checked on Jane's PICC line and trachea tube. She scribbled something down on the chart at the end of the bed and changed the urine bag on the bad.

"How is she today?" Stephanie asked Maura while she left to catch the sponge and the bath utensils. She strolled in a wagon with a small basin filled with warm water.

"She is as okay as she can be." Maura stated. "Do you need help?" she asked the nurse and pulled out of the chair. Stephanie nodded and loosened the restrain on Jane's casted arm.

"I would like to start with the backside. So if you could help me shift her to the side." She started.

Maura took hold of Jane's casted arm and held her head that the shunt wasn't disturbed. Stephanie worked in silence. She quickly washed Jane' back and bottom and dried it after that.

"You can lay her down now." She and Maura slowly rolled her back on her back and Stephanie put back on the restrain. Maura winced at her action. She knew it was for Jane's safety but seeing her lover in restrains hurt her. _I'm so glad that you don't notice anything of that._

Stephanie cleaned out the sponge and withdrew the blanket that covered Jane's oppressed body. Her skin seemed so pale in the cold neon light. The nurse peeled off the gauze that covered the surgical stitches between Jane's small but firm breasts. It was at least ten inches long_. You are covered in scares but alive._ Further down Stephanie peeled off the second gauze that covered the incision from the pelvis surgery. It went from hipbone to hipbone. That's when Maura noticed that Jane was naked. The only thing that covered her body was the sheer blanket. Stephanie noticed Maura's insecurity.

"If you'd like to wash her…" she started but Maura shook her head no.

"I'm not a trained nurse. I don't want to go wrong." Stephanie smiled at her statement. She knew Maura was a pathologist and only worked on dead bodies but she knew it sometimes felt the same when she worked on comatose patients. They were warm though.

"There is nothing you can go wrong. Just watch the incisions." She gave Maura the sponge and rolled over the basin. "I'll be right back." And with those words she left Maura alone to wash her patient.

Maura gulped and looked down at Jane's naked form.

"I've never done this Jane so please forgive me if I hurt you. It's not on purpose." Maura wetted the sponge and started at her upper body. _I thought the first time I would touch your body we would have lighted candles or lay cuddled on the couch._ She sighed. They had been a couple for now four month but both of them wanted to take it slow and they did. They kissed and cuddled even slept together in the same bed but they hadn't had sex until now. Maura worked the sponge over Jane's breasts and her right arm, slowly cleaned her abdomen always careful not to wipe over the incisions.

"Even now you look beautiful Jane." She whispered and cleaned out the sponge. Maura retrieved the blanket a little further and started cleaning Jane's legs. One thing at a time she carefully lifted Jane's legs and cleaned them. Then she stopped. _I'm gonna touch her in her most private area and she won't feel anything of that. _So Maura scooped open her legs and took a hold of the Foley tube so she wouldn't pull it.

"I'm really sorry Jane that wasn't how I thought I would touch you down there for the…" she started to ramble but stopped. She shook her head. "I'm sorry Jane." she whispered and started to clean Jane's vagina. Stephanie, who silently hat stepped into the room, smiled at Maura's shyness and waited for her to finish the whole washing process.

"You did good." Said Stephanie and Maura slewed startled. Stephanie noticed and added "I didn't want to startle you. I'm sorry." Maura took a step back and shook her head.

"It's okay. I'm not used to such a treatment. I mean I often talk to my 'patients'" She made quotation marks with her fingers. "But this is all new to me, I mean I never have seen her naked before and…" she started to ramble again. Stephanie placed her hand on Maura's shoulder.

"I know what you mean." She just said. Maura hung her head and took a seat. Stephanie redressed her wounds and changed the blanket.

Right at that time the heart monitor started to beep frantically and Jane started to convulse.

Maura jumped out of her seat and was at her side immediately. "What's happening?" she asked frightened. The nurse reacted as fast as she could and called the nurse station.

"Get a doctor in here a.s.a.p. Ms. Rizzoli has a seizure."

* * *

**Cliff... ;-)**

**Review if you liked it**


	7. Chapter 7

**And another one. You really seem to enjoy this one, hm? ;-)**

* * *

Chapter 7

When Frankie got the call from Maura it seemed like his world had stopped spinning. _A seizure. Another surgery. Heart had stopped. _Those were the information Frankie clung to until he arrived at the hospital and Maura filled him in again. Both had decided not to tell Angela what had happened. It was still early that day and she had to work at least for another five hours.

_Waiting is a bitch_, Frankie thought. After a short update from the nurses, Maura knew that Jane had another subdural hematoma or better known as blood clot. She was relieved to know it was just that because it was a typical side effect of the shunt. To prevent another bleeding the doctors had told Maura they would insert a bigger shunt tube this time. But they told her at the same time that the healing process would take longer due to the bigger hole in Jane's skull. _I think there are other wounds that acquire longer time._

After three hours of surgery Jane was wheeled into her private room in the CCU again. Her head was now under much more gauze hidden and out of it came the new shunt tube_. Okay it is bigger,_ Maura thought when she saw that it was as thick as her small finger. _But if it keeps Jane alive…_

Frankie had excused himself after seeing his sister alive and in good hands again. He didn't want to stay away from work to long or else it would look suspicious. So he left the hospital early afternoon and told Maura he would check on both of them after his shift.

Maura settle herself in the chair again and took a nap. She was emotional overwhelmed and needed to calm down. So best thing was to cool down a bit and get a clear head.

That was six days ago. Six days with no change. Grateful Jane hadn't experienced another seizure or stroke but unfortunately she had not woken up either. Maura had now taken most of the tasks of the nurses. She washed Jane every second day and changed the dressings on her incisions. With the help of Stephanie her favorite nurse she moved Jane into different positions to prevent bedsores. Maura was surprised that Jane's two incisions healed perfectly but she wouldn't wake up. It scared her. She was afraid that the possible brain damage wouldn't allow Jane to wake up for a long time or ever again. After the fifth day they had taken of the stiff neck. It wasn't necessary anymore.

Since then the nurses had arranged a bed for Maura. She refused to leave her at night and arguing with Dr. Maura Isles wasn't an option. Korsak and Frost had understood that she wouldn't come to work soon but were on the best way to madness. Pike now worked the homicide cases and he wasn't nearly as good as Maura. The came on a now daily basis to get updates from the doc it was every day the same though.

Two days after her second surgery a young man came by and told Maura that not only Jane had to be moved into different positions but moved as such. And by that he meant moving her legs, massaging her legs, moving her arm and massaging him too. He showed her how to do that and left her some massaging oil. It was necessary to move Jane in every possible way to prevent thrombosis. So Maura followed these instructions. It also was a nice distraction from just sitting there and waiting_. Is this how it goes from now on?_ She asked herself when she pulled up the blanket from Jane's legs. _But can't she at least be awake and bug me like she always does?_ She started to massage Jane's left foot and went up to her inner upper thighs. She still had problems touching Jane's sex when it came to washing her body or massaging her. _Think like a doctor Maura. _But she couldn't. It was her girlfriend lying there; her best friend, her family. So she did what every good partner did, she cared for Jane in every possible way.

Stephanie stepped in and greeted Maura with a warm smile. "Hello Maura how is our girl today?"

Maura, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed massaging Jane's upper thigh, looked up at her. "Well, it seems that she responds to my voice. Every time I talk to her there is movement under her eyelids." Stephanie went over to the heart monitor and checked her vitals.

Maura liked her more than the other nurses. She was a mid-forty old woman with a shade of gray in her hair and kind brown eyes. She wasn't tall and not the thinnest person but she had a big heart and always talked to Jane when she had to work on her.

"Well I got some good news for you two." She said and moved to Jane's head. "Dr. Norton will remove her shunt today. She will be here in a minute." Maura smiled and gently stroke Jane's hand.

"Have you heard darling. They're going to take out the tube in your skull. One step at a time but see, you get better. You just have to wake up." Stephanie smiled at Maura's statement. She knew real love when she saw it. And they both definitely had it, well at least Maura. She loosened the gauze around Jane's head for the doctor to remove the tube. That's when Maura saw it the first time. The little hole in Jane's skull. Most of her side was shaven and you could see the part where they had opened her up. It was at least a square inch big. Short behind it they had drilled a hole into the skull tin insert the shunt. But today Jane would get rid of it_. A good sign,_ Maura thought. _That means the bleeding has stopped and the swelling went down._

Dr. Norton had come by to look after her patient almost every day. And every day she came to the same result. Patience. All they had to do was waiting for Jane to regain consciousness. At least Jane's wounds healed nicely and they only had to worry the outcome of her brain and spinal cord injury.

"How is she today?" she asked when she entered the room. Maura turned around and greeted her with small smile.

"She is doing well." Maura said. "Stephanie told me you would take out the shunt." Dr. Norton stepped closer to Jane's head and inspected the head injury and the shunt tube.

"Yes, I will." She replied and put on some sterile gloves. "Her swelling is completely gone and the shunt doesn't drain anymore fluids. So everything is perfectly fine." Maura stepped a little closer to watch both women remove the tube. It was a very easy procedure but it looked weird seeing someone removing something out of a skull. Stephanie taped the hole and wrapped new gauze around Jane's head. Dr. Norton and Stephanie tripped of the gloves and threw them into the bin.

"We'll see if we can remove the chest tube tomorrow. Her lung looks good as well at least on yesterday's x-rays." She turned around to Maura and looked her in the eyes. "She will wake up Dr. Isles give her some time. It's not uncommon for patients like Jane who suffered as much as damage as she has suffered from to be in a coma that long." Maura sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"I know Dr. Norton but I just want her to wake up. I just want her to be okay." She slumped down in her so common chair. "What if she won't wake up? What if she suffered immense neurological damage? Can't move, can't talk or even has lost her memory?" Maura shook her head and wiped her eyes. Dr. Norton looked kindly at her.

"You have to have faith. I know we can't take her of the respirator, yet but if she is able to breathe on her own she will get rid of this tube, too." She took Maura's hand in hers and gave it a light squeeze.

"Keep faith in her and tomorrow we will see about the chest tube." She gave Maura her brightest and most honest smile and left their room. Stephanie hadn't said anything until now.

"She is right. I'll pray for her every evening. And if I have faith in her you have too." She wrapped up the trash and left a very stunned Maura behind.

"Faith, Jane. They say I have to have faith." She took Jane's hand in her own and kissed her on the now available forehead. "You have to live for me Jane, please." A single tear rolled down her cheek and wetted Jane's. And then out of the blue Jane squeezed Maura's hand.

"Jane?" Maura asked and looked questioning over her whole body. "Jane if you can hear me squeeze my hand again, can you do that?" It took a little moment but Jane squeezed again.

"Darling, hey Jane, can you try to open your eyes for me?" Maura almost begged. Suddenly all of her emotions came crashing on her down. She was exited, happy but also afraid. Jane cracked her eyes open and closed them again. _The light must be painful for her._

"Hey Jane you have to stay calm okay. I'm gonna get Dr. Norton. Please stay calm and let the machine breathe for you okay? Jane squeezed her hand in response. _She understands me._

Maura opened the door and called for Nurse Stephanie that Jane was awake. Both Doctor and Nurse reacted straight away and came running to Jane's room. Dr. Norton stepped close to Jane.

"Jane, can you please open your eyes for me? She asked in a soft tone. Jane complied and cracked her eyes open again. She blinked several times to adjust to the light.

"Maura certainly told you to let the machine breathe for you. We gonna intubate you in a minute but first" she pulled out a small flash light "I need to check you out." She flashed into her eyes to look for any brain damage.

"Can you please follow my finger Jane?" Jane complied. Maura who stood at the end of the bed watched the whole scene with relief. Nurse Stephanie deflated the little bladder that held down the endotracheal tube. "I'm gonna count to three and then I'm gonna pull that tube out, okay?" She counted and then pulled the tube out of Jane's throat. She coughed a little and then it was out.

Stephanie loosened the restrains around Jane's wrist and casted arm. She disconnected the whole respirator system and then stepped outside the room. "If you need me, ring."

Maura moved around the bed and stroke Jane's uninjured side of the head.

"There you are. I've been dying to see those beautiful dark eyes again." Maura said gently and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Then Dr. Norton stepped closer. Jane still hadn't spoken a word and that worried her. At least she seemed to recognize Maura and hadn't flinched when she had touched her.

"Jane, can you tell me where you are?" Dr. Norton asked and scribbled something down on her chart.

Jane blinked and opened her mouth.

"Hos…" was all that came out. She tried again but failed. Maura looked over to Dr. Norton with a worried look.

"It's okay Jane." She said and signed Maura to step out of the room. "Just rest and get some sleep. I'll check on you later again." She left the room and waited for Maura to follow her. Maura bend over to Jane and saw her worried look.

"It's okay sweetheart. You suffered from a massive brain injury. Everything will be fine, I promise." She kissed her forehead again and left the room. Outside Dr. Norton stood with a worried look on her face.

"I think Jane's Broca-Areal is damaged."

* * *

**Go on? Reviews allowed ;-)**


	8. Chapter 8

**And another one. I really love you guys for loving this story^^ And like always enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 8

"That's what I've feared." Maura said and ran a hand over her face. The whole time she sat at Jane's bedside she calculated how likely it would be that Jane had lost or compromised her ability of speech. The good thing was that Jane had recognized her and her surroundings. No loss of memory at least no long term memory loss.

"We have to run a MRT and CT of Jane's brain to locate the damage and if it's only temporary." Dr. Norton replied and wrote it down on the patient's chart. "What I want you to do, Dr. Isles, is to explain it to Jane. Maybe you can communicate via pen and paper. But she has to stay calm or we have to sedate her again. I don't want her to injure herself or put her under too much stress."

Maura nodded and then realized her mistake. "Erm… Dr. Norton, Jane is left handed." The doctor just nodded. "Okay… then we have to try something different."

Inside the room Jane tried to adapt to her surroundings. She knew she was in a hospital bed but she had no idea how she had gotten here. The last thing she knew was the date Maura and she went on.

_What the hell_. Jane thought. _Why can't I remember?_ She tried to sit up but regretted it immediately. A sharp pain ran through her chest and head. _Fuck that hurts._ She touched her head and realized that is was wrapped up in thick gauze. I hit my head? Then her hand wandered down her chest and found another gauze wrapping. _Something is totally wrong_. She tried to call out for Maura but again nothing came out. That's when she recognized that something was missing. There was no feeling in her legs and lower abdomen. She started to panic. _Oh my god please no, no, no…_ She grabbed the blanket with her right hand and pulled it up to reveal her legs. _Okay, still there but no feeling._ Now tears started to well up in her eyes and she suppressed a sob that came up her throat.

Maura startled by the frantic beeping ran into Jane's room and was at her bedside immediately.

"Jane," Maura spoke softly and grabbed Jane's hand. And that's when she saw it. Panic was written all over Jane's face and her cheeks were wet from the tears. "You have to stay calm, please. You just woke up from a coma." She gently robbed her hand and whipped Jane's tears away. But Jane just shook her head loosened herself from Maura's touch. She opened her mouth. "Wha…" Angry she shook her head and tried again. "Wha… hap…" Maura grabbed her hand again and squeezed it.

"Baby, you have to stay calm. You were in a car accident with Frost on your way back from court. You were in a coma for eight days. Shhhh." Maura tried to sooth Jane but Jane's eyes widened in panic and she ripped herself out of Maura's grip. "Noo." Was Jane's moaned response. She tapped with her flat hand against her leg. Maura didn't understand first and Jane tapped angrier now.

Maura tried to take Jane's hand again but she just pushed her away. _Common response after a coma and she doesn't know what happened to her. I should explain._

"Jane, please. You have to stay calm. Although you are healed nicely, we don't want you to pull any of your stitches, okay?" Jane looked her in the eyes those warm and kind hazel eyes. Her breathing steadied and she nodded slightly.

"Eight days ago, you were in a severe car accident with Detective Frost." Now her voice had switched from the loving kind to a more stern and clinical one. As if she read an autopsy report to Jane.

"Before you ask, Detective Frost is fine. He just had a slight concussion and some cuts and bruises in contrast to you." She stopped and took a deep breath. "A truck hit you at an intersection on your way back from court unfortunately into the driver side."

Now it came back. Jane remembered talking to Frost about a verdict. He had asked her about her and Maura and she… _Tell her I love her._ Jane tried to sit up and groaned but Maura stopped her. "Don't darling just… just listen first okay?" Maura asked and waited for Jane to lie back down.

"You were brought her to Massachusetts General and undergone a major surgery. Due to the impact of the truck you left arm" Jane's gaze fell to her casted arm "and your pelvis were fractured. Several ribs were broken too and they punctured your lung." Maura stopped for Jane to take that information in. If you could have given fear a color Jane's face would have been a rainbow.

"Well, the airbags didn't work. Why? That's Korsak's task to find out. But you hit your head pretty hard. You had subdural and epidural bleeding and" she paused again and ran her hand through her hair. "at least three minutes lack of oxygen." Jane's eyes widened in horror. Maura took Jane's again and tried to smooth her. "Shhhh Jane, the outcome is better than we thought." Maura stated simply but kicked herself mentally for her bluntness. _Better than we thought? Oh boy…_

"You have no loss of memory you can move your arms and" she cleared her throat "we don't know if your lack of speech is temporary or not, yet." _Lack of speech. Great term Maura_ Jane thought. _My brain is a big gray bowl of shit. Great._

"Jane became impatient and tapped on her leg again. "D….don't…." but she gave up. _Talking doesn't work right now, or ever again?_ She gulped. _Focus dammit_. Maura nodded and adjusted Jane's blanket that she was covered over her breasts. It was cruel enough that Jane lay there in a hospital bed, naked.

"You have two fractured vertebras and your spinal cord is jammed between those." Jane breathing became more labored and the heart monitor started beeping a little more frantic. Jane knew what that meant. Paralysis. Maura squeezed Jane's hand. " no Jane listen, you have to calm down, please baby." Maura begged. "Let me explain." Jane tried to calm herself down and listen to her lover voice. And it worked. Maura's voice always had helped her when Jane had been upset. It had helped with Hoyt so it would help her now.

"You are paralyzed Jane." She said silent and waited for a response. When she looked up she saw tears rolling down Jane's cheeks.

"No wait, let me rephrase it. Your spinal cord isn't damaged baby but it's stuck between those two vertebras so there is a possibility for you to walk again, okay?" Maura bent over Jane and kissed her on the forehead. Jane tried to stifle a sob but couldn't manage it. She never really let Maura see her in pain and she wouldn't do it now. "We just have to work…" Maura started but was cut off by Jane.

"Ou…t" she managed to stutter. Maura sat back and just looked at her lover. Jane was angry she knew but rejection wasn't one of the responses she thought of.

Jane pulled her hand out of Maura's grip and pointed at the door. "Ou..t" she managed again.

"Listen Jane please, I know that is a lot to process right now for you but just…" but she was cut off again. "G…go" Jane begged now. She didn't want to see her right now. But now it was Maura who raise her voice a little more then she wanted to.

"You'll listen Jane and you listen well. I sat here ever since they brought you to the hospital, every damn second I waited for you to wake up, to remember me. It's not your turn to tell me what to do now you are awake." She paused and took a deep breath.

"I won't leave your side until you'll leave this hospital. Weather it is in a damn wheelchair or on your own feet. I don't care as long as I know the rest of you is fine. I know you don't want me to see you vulnerable therefor it's too late though. I bathed you, I moved you I cried for you. You don't get to tell me to leave you now." Her voice was shaky but she had managed not to yell. She wiped off her tears and took hold of Jane's hand.

"I love you Jane and that means you are stuck with me. Understood?" Maura asked in a now much softer tone. Jane who had stopped crying looked very shocked at her lover. She had never seen Maura like that. Afraid, okay, sad too but never this angry.

So she just nodded and squeezed Maura's hand. After Maura had composed herself she shook of her feelings. Jane signed her to come closer to her and Maura happily complied. Jane took hold of Maura's shirt and pulled her down in a chased kiss. When they broke off the kiss Jane looked Maura straight in the eyes. "I… so…ry." _She really loves me, she really does. _Jane thought. Maura smiled a bright smile and sat back down in her chair.

"I will be here every step of the way. Okay? I won't leave even if you ask me to." She said and kissed Jane's hand. "And now sleep you must be exhausted. I'm here when you wake up."

_I know baby, I know_ and then Jane drifted off.

* * *

**Reviews appreciated**


	9. Chapter 9

**And another one. Enjoy the misery... ;-)**

* * *

Chapter 9

When Jane awoke again her head was pounding. She ignored the feeling and concentrated on revealing the events from the afternoon after she had come out of coma. She looked around in the now dark room to find Maura sitting in the chair next to her slumped over on the bed. Jane smiled. _She really kept her promise. She is still there_. It still took Jane to become accustomed to the non-existing feeling in her legs and the lack of ability to talk. But as Maura had told her she was quite confident to gain that back. She would do everything that Maura would tell her_. I owe it to Maura._ It would take some time though but Jane had always been a fighter and she would fight for getting back on her feet, literarily. She wouldn't let her luck now she found it in Maura slip away because of… She stopped.

_Who am I kidding? I'm a cripple. I can't talk and walk. What does Maura want with me? _She looked down on Maura's sleeping form and suppressed the urge to cry. _Don't go there Rizzoli, don't. You can do it._ She tried to calm herself down not to wake Maura. _How can I repay you, thank you? _She thought as she looked down on Maura._ I'm a Detective for God's Sake. I… You are pathetic Jane Rizzoli. Don't start loathing in self-pity. _She whipped her tears away and stroked Maura's honey blond hair. Jane always had struggled with her feelings but being in love at one time and having your live destroyed at the other was even for a Jane Rizzoli too much. _I love you_ she thought and kept stroking Maura. _But I don't want to be your burden_.

Totally lost in her thoughts Jane didn't notice that Maura stirred. She sat up and whipped the sleep away.

"Hey honey, you're awake." She whispered and took Jane's hand in her own. Jane only nodded slightly. "You could have woken me up." She glanced at her watch. 22:38 p.m. it said. _Wow I slept over six hours _she thought and stretched her sore muscles.

"Are you in any pain?" she asked Jane and looked into the Detectives sad eyes. Jane tried to move into a different position but failed. Her head hurt terribly so did her chest incision. But she didn't want to go to sleep again due to the morphine they gave her. So she lied. "N…o" she muttered and closed her eyes. Maura noticed Jane's reaction. "Sweetheart, if you are in pain then take the morphine." But Jane shook her head. "Wa…nt a…a…wa…ke." Jane stuttered. It took all her strength to utter a single word but she didn't want to give in. Maura smiled and stroke Jane's cheek. She understood her stuttered words.

"I know Jane but your body needs to heal." She replied but Jane shook her head. "Ne…ed to s… see uu." Maura chuckled at Jane's statement. _Once a bullhead, always a bullhead_.

"Yes, you need to see me as much as I needed to see you." She leaned down and kissed Jane. It wasn't a passionate kiss. It was more like two lips stroking each other but it meant everything for Maura. Then she straightened herself and sat back.

"Your mother and Frankie were here earlier that day." Jane's eyes widened. She didn't want her mother to see her like that but she was sure that Maura had told her she was awake. She couldn't lie. Maura noticed Jane's terror and smoothed her.

"Don't worry, she just asked how you were and sat here for an hour. So did Frankie. I told her you were fine. It wasn't the truth but it wasn't a lie either. But by tomorrow she knows you are awake." Jane nodded and started thinking how to avoid her mother's visit. But what could she do? Run away? Haha. She had to face her if she wanted or not.

The next morning Maura was already up when Jane awoke. After a more or less one sided discussion Jane had finally given in to the morphine and slipped away into a painless slumber. She knew that Maura only wanted the best for her but she already had slept over a week and she wanted to be as long awake as possible.

Right that moment the door opened and Nurse Stephanie entered the room. She smiled at the sight in front of her.

"It's good to see you awake Detective, you gave us quite a scare. But your private doctor took good care of you." She chuckled at her own statement and noticed that Maura blushed a little. She changed the IV bags and wrote down Jane's vitals on the chart. Maura excused herself for the restroom and left Jane with Stephanie alone. She knew Jane wasn't as comfortable as she was with her but she really had to use the bathroom.

"So, on today's list stands…" Stephanie looked down at the chart again "MRT and CT, a nice sponge bath, removing your feeding and your chest tube and every days exercises. Don't worry, Dr. Isles will take care of your physical therapy and your sponge bath. She already took care while you were asleep" she smirked and put down the chart. Jane could only nod but was quite impressed of Stephanie's boldness. She already liked her. "Do…oc?" Jane asked but Stephanie wasn't really sure what she meant.

"Oh yes, ehm, Dr. Norton will check on you in a bit, she is your assigned doctor while you stay with us." Jane nodded. "So if you need anything just ring and please don't refuse the pain medication if it is unbearable." She knew what she was talking about. In her 20 years long career as a nurse she had seen many patients who had refused to take their pain medication. It only lead to a longer stay.

Maura who had slipped silently into the room stood at the door and listened to Stephanie's words.

_Maybe she will listen to Stephanie_ Maura thought and cleared her throat not to startle the nurse.

Jane looked up with pleading eyes and Maura was at her side. "No Jane, she is right. You have to take them, or else you'll have a longer hospital stay, okay?" Jane sighed. "O…o…kay." Maura's heart brock every time Jane tried to speak. She was so helpless and she hated that feeling.

"So I'll leave you two lovebirds alone. But I'll be right back to bring the supplies for your bath Jane." Stephanie smirked, turned around and left. Jane looked defeated away now she knew what would happen. Maura immediately noticed and stroked Jane's cheek.

"Baby." No reply. She tried again. "Jane." Still nothing. She raised her voice a little.

"Detective, it is necessary to keep your body clean so you get no infections." Jane rolled her head towards her an sighed. Maura's features softened. "Jane I have washed you every day since you are in this bed. I know you are not comfortable with it but it has to be done. You don't have to be ashamed. It's just me." A single tear rolled down Jane's cheek and she looked away. Maura grabbed Jane's hand and pressed it against her chest. "Do you feel that?" She asked a little harsher then she wanted to. She didn't wait for an answer.

"That is my heart beating for you Jane. I won't leave and I will do everything to get you back to normal." Now anger welled up in Jane. She turned around hurt and anger written all over her face.

"How?" she nearly yelled. She hit against her leg and pointed towards her head. "H…ow?" she asked again. Maura just sat there. _How?_ That was a good question but she would find a way. Money wasn't the problem. She cleared her throat to hold the tears at bay.

"I will Jane, I will get you everything that will help you and I will be there every damn step of your recovery." Jane cried in silence and just watched Maura. She blinked her tears away and took Maura's hand. "I… ju…st wan…t no…normal." She pressed out the words. Maura smiled.

"I know Jane, I know. But until normal returns I'm here."

Stephanie had heard their conversation and had waited outside the room. She sighed. She had seen many pairs break apart but she had faith in the both women on the other side of that door. So she politely waited until there was nothing but silence and then knocked at the door.

"I brought you the supplies for the sponge bath." She just said. She went over to Jane. "I'm gonna help Maura to wash your back. Therefore we have to turn you a little, okay?" Maura had already wetted the sponge and waited for Jane to respond. She nodded, sighed and closed her eyes. _God, this is so embarrassing._

With the help of Stephanie Maura shifted Jane on her good side and began to wash Jane's back. Stephanie stroke Jane's cheek as she held her. "It's okay Jane, don't feel ashamed. She is a good caretaker." Jane refused to open her eyes and just waited till they both laid her back on her back.

Maura nodded at Stephanie. The nurse pulled back the sheet and peeled of the two gauzes. Jane still head her eyes closed. She trembled slightly under the soft touch. Don't freak out, just don't freak out. It was like a mantra. Stephanie excused herself and left both women alone.

"I'm gonna be gentle, okay?" But Jane didn't respond. So Maura started. She first washed Jane's upper body and her right arm. Then she pulled off the sheets off Jane's legs. That's when Jane opened her eyes. This is how it goes from here? My lover washes me because I'm not able to? We aren't even married and she has to wash me down there…

"Mau…ra." Jane whispered. Maura looked up. "I… I… lo…lo..ve uu." Maura smiled at Jane's statement.

"I love you too." She said and slowly washed first Jane's left leg then her right one. Jane closed her eyes.

"I'm" Maura started and looked up to Jane only to find that Jane had closed her eyes. "I'm gonna wash your sex now, okay?" Jane nodded and stiffened just knowing Maura would touch her although she wouldn't feel anything. Gently Maura scooped Jane's legs open and washed her vagina. After finishing her task she threw the sponge into the basin and pulled the sheets back in place. She sat down on the edge auf the bed and took Jane in an embrace. Jane snuggled closer as possible as she could and let her tears fall free.

"You did good baby. You did good." Maura whispered into Jane's hair and let the Detective cry.

* * *

**Continue? Waiting for Angela, Frankie, Frost and Korsak? Maybe next chapter ;-)**


	10. Chapter 10

**You guys are amazing. Over 100 reviews and followers. I cant believe you are not sick and tired of this hospital stuff ;-) So here it goes. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 10

When Jane came back from MRT and CT she was exhausted. Her head felt like a big bass box tuned up to full volume. She hated being in pain but she hated losing control more. And she was out of control. Her body, well at least some parts of her body didn't belong to her anymore. But she didn't know what terrified her more; her paralysis beneath her abdomen, or not being able to communicate correctly. Dr. Norton had told her that she would gain her ability of speech full back but she would have to train it. _At least some good news_. She thought. Due to the fact that Dr. Norton was only a trauma surgeon she introduced Jane to a neuro-specialist. He wasn't stationed in this hospital but she knew Maura would and could afford it. She even would sell her cozy house in Beacon Hill to pay for Jane's recovery.

It was a very hectic morning. First the MRT and CT then X-rays to look if they could take out the chest tube. It was also a pain factor a minimal though. Jane was in and out because she had given in and let Maura push the button for the morphine. In the meantime Maura had worked on Jane's legs. She didn't want Jane to fell more uncomfortable as already felt. The morning was exhausting enough for Jane. She didn't notice that Jane was awake and watched Maura massaging her legs. It was weird seeing someone touching a part of your body and not feeling anything of that. She sighed. _How long will she do that for me? How long will it last until she can't take it anymore? _ Maura snapped out of her concentration and looked over to Jane.

"Hey you are awake." She smiled softly. "How do you feel? Any pain?" she asked worried as she saw pain in Jane's face. But Jane shook her head. It wasn't physical pain she felt right now. It was emotional pain. She hadn't worked everything out yet and every time she awoke from her painless and dreamless sleep the whole situation hit her like truck had. She already had got used to the fact that she lay there naked, only covered by gauze and a sheet. She also had got used to the fact that everybody could see her like that. But she could not let her mother and her brothers see her like that. She just couldn't. Korsak had seen her broken. But that was something totally different. Being pinned down by two scalpels wasn't as bad as being maybe a lifetime cripple. No, she had to tell Maura that she should keep them away from her at least until she could communicate more properly. And then it hit her like a ton of bricks. Maura was here and her mother not. Angela must have known that Maura stayed 24 hours. _Even a best friend leaves at least for a couple of hours of sleep. Does she know? Frost knew._ Now she started to panic. The increase of heartbeats didn't go unnoticed by Maura. She pulled the sheets back over Jane's legs and was at her side immediately.

"Ma…" Jane pressed out. Maura only nodded.

"Yes she will be here after work like I told you." Maura looked a little confused as Jane shook her head.

"Noo." Maura didn't understand and looked at her in disbelief. "What's up sweetie?" she asked now a little more concerned. Jane closed her eyes and it took all her strength.

"Sh…ee … oows?" she managed to stutter the question. And now Maura understood. Jane wanted to know if her mother knew of them two. She gulped and sat back.

"Yes Jane, she knows." She sighed. Jane knew what that meant. Her face was now stricken with fear and Maura noticed.

"Hey.." she leaned forward and stroked Jane's cheek. "The day of your accident she asked me. She had her suspicion. You know I can't lie. She, well her reaction wasn't really acceptance but neither rejection. She came here ever since and she brought me meals and…" she stopped and ran a hand through her hair. "She said it's not right from the viewpoint of the church but Tommy and Frankie stood up for us." Tears now made its way down Jane's cheeks. Maura whipped them away. "Jane, she loves you, give her some time, okay, she will come around, if she didn't already." In moments like those she was happy to have Maura in her life. She was always so optimistic and it was contagious.

"Ooo….kkk…ay." Jane stuttered. "I… dd…doon't sssee… her." Maura winced at Jane's statement, not only because it was exhausting for Jane to speak but also of what she had just said. Jane didn't want anybody, especially her mother, to see her like that. _Broken._

"Jane…" Maura tried but was interrupted by a more or less moaned no. Would it have been another situation she would have discussed it with her but she didn't want to interfere into Jane's recovery process. So she granted her this one wish.

"Okay Jane. I'm going to tell her that but I can't promise you anything, okay?" Jane sighed in relief and nodded. Right in this moment the door was opened and Nurse Stephanie stepped in.

"Dr. Norton told me to remove your chest tube and your feeding tube." She stepped on the left side of the bed and turned off the machine responsible for Jane's nutrition. "Maybe we can manage to get you some Jell-O later." She whispered into Jane's ear and winked. And for the first time that day Jane smiled. She grabbed Maura's hand. She just wanted to feel her and Maura was very grateful for that.

"Okay Jane. I'm gonna pull the feeding tube out. It doesn't hurt that much, it is just a strange feeling because that tube reaches down your esophagus and into your stomach. Okay?" Jane nodded and closed her eyes. It was indeed a strange feeling having something pulled out of your stomach. It felt like vomiting without vomiting. After pulling it out completely through Jane's nose she gave her a tissue. "You should blow your nose a little but be careful." Jane did as she was told and winced immediately at the pain in her head. Stephanie chuckled and shook her head. "I said carefully."

Jane handed her the tissue back and grabbed Maura's hand again. _That wasn't so bad hopefully the chest tube doesn't hurt that much_ Jane thought as Stephanie started to disconnect the system from the tube.

"Maura I need your help." Maura nodded and let go of Jane's hand. "I need you to pull Jane a little over that I can get the sheets und her." Maura took hold of Jane's caste arm and with a little help from Jane herself they managed to place the sheets. Stephanie took a deep breath.

"Okay Jane. Due to the fact that you weren't conscious while placing your chest tube I'm gonna tell you it hurts like a bitch; Insertion and Removal. I know you cops always play the tough ones. You are not the first one with a chest tube in my career so please push the button for morphine if it's unbearable. Do you understand? No stunts." Stephanie said softly and looked at Maura. "If she won't then please Maura push the button." Jane nodded at Maura, took her hand a nodded at Stephanie.

"Doo… itt." She muttered. Stephanie counted to three and slowly pulled out the tube. Jane started trembling and moaned under the pain. _Fuck that's worse than the headaches_ she thought_. Maura's hand must be blue by now_. She groaned again and then her world went black. Maura had pressed the button. Stephanie grinned and shook her head.

"Is she always so stubborn?" she asked Maura as she taped the gauze over the small hole. Maura chuckled.

"Yes she is. She doesn't like the feeling of losing control." Maura winced at her own words. _She has already lost some control._ Stephanie noticed Maura's change in tone and behavior.

"Hey Doc. If she is as stubborn with everything else as with refusing the morphine then she will get back to normal. Believe me. She has a real good health. She was in a good shape before the accident and it could be a lot worse." Maura nodded and whipped the now falling tears away.

"Dr. Norton is quite astonished that she can, even if it's just stutter, talk to us and understand us. She must have had a huge hemorrhaging but the damage was minimal. You have to be confident and have faith Maura." Maura now sat in the chair and ran her hands over her tired face.

"I know Stephanie but it is so hard not only for her but for me too. I'm so tired already and it's been only nine days. I haven't had a real shower. I believe I look like a mess too." She sighed. "But I can't leave her. She refuses to see anybody but me and I can't just go, even if it's just for two hours."

Stephanie smiled warmly at Maura and took her hands in her own.

"Down the hall is our changing room and there are showers. If you give me your key I'm gonna get you something to change and your washing supplies after my shift." Maura's eyes widened.

"No you.. I.. I can't take that offer…" Maura started but Stephanie cut her off.

"Of course you can and if it is matter of trust you know where I work." She said and smirked. Maura was so overwhelmed by this kind gesture that she didn't know what else to say. She gave her the key to her house.

"If you should walk into Jane's mother don't tell her anything, okay?" Maura nearly begged. "That's my task to do." Stephanie nodded and gestured to the empty bed that stood at the other side of the big room.

"And now" she pulled Maura out of the chair "you're gonna lay down for a bit. You aren't of any help if you pass out from exhaustion." Grateful Maura accepted and laid down. _We're gonna get through this Jane. I promise_ where her last words when she fell into a dreamless slumber.

Stephanie smiled at the now both sleeping women and switched of the lights as she left.

_You are gonna make it. I'll pray for both of you. _

* * *

**So, a little Angela and Stephanie or Jane and Maura again? Or maybe both? ;-) Let me know**


	11. Chapter 11

**There, another one ;-) but I think my muse already went to bed. I just have seen the broadcast of La Bohem from the Festival in Salzburg, Austria and it was so... modern. It was like watching rent with Puccinis' music. But Anna Netrebko played really great. But that is just an aside. So enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 11

After Maura had finally given in to Stephanie the nurse had looked up for her address, ended her shift a little earlier than usual and drove to Beacon Hill. It wasn't that far from the hospital so she hoped she would be back in less than two hours. When she arrived she was quite stunned at Maura's home. _How can a Medical Examiner afford such a nice house?_ It wasn't her place to question it but she was surprised. When she entered the cozy home she directly went upstairs and looked for Maura's bath and bedroom. She looked through the closet and decided to grab some sport clothes. _That's the only stuff that looks comfortable_ she chuckled. After finding everything what she had been looking for she packed everything in a duffle bag and went downstairs. She wasn't prepared to meet Angela downstairs. _Oh hell no._

"What are you doing here?" Angela asked coldly. Maura had begged her not to talk to Jane's mother.

"I consented to catch some supplies for Maura. I'm already on my way out. So if you please excuse me." She said and headed for the door but Angela blocked her way out.

"Why didn't she ask me?" Angela asked with a hint of hurt in her voice. Stephanie tried to hold her composure.

"Listen, Mrs. Rizzoli, it's not my place to tell, you should talk to Dr. Isles herself." She said with a calm voice. She started walking again but Angela stopped her again. Stephanie sighed.

"Is Jane awake?" Angela asked the nurse. _Don't tell her. Don't talk to her._

"That is also not my place to tell either. Please Mrs. Rizzoli, I'm in kind of a…" but Angela cut her off.

"No you listen. I want to know what is going on. Why won't Maura call me or tell me what is going on? I just came home from work and was on my way to the hospital and now you are snooping around here in her house." Angela's voice trembled with anger. Stephanie couldn't hold it any longer_. _She ignored her last comment though._ I Hope you forgive me_ _Maura_ she thought.

"You visit Jane every day. You bring Dr. Isles a nice meal every day but you never talk. You just sit there and watch her sleep. You never ask how she is actually doing. What is your problem?" Stephanie now yelled. "Your daughter was in a coma for eight days and Dr. Isles never left her bedside, never and you, her mother, just comes in every other day for what, an hour? Do you have a problem with Dr. Isles? Because if you do, you must be blind. She is the kindest and sweetest woman I've ever met in the CCU. She is the one who takes care of Jane not me. She. She loves your daughter with all her heart and what ever happened between the both of you; you should clear it up" she paused and took a deep breath "and get your head out of your ass." Stephanie snorted and looked into a very stunned face of Angela's.

"I…" Angela started but stopped. She didn't know what to say. It didn't happen often but now Angela Rizzoli was speechless_. Wow._

"Yes?" Stephanie asked and tapped on her watch. "I haven't all day." She now had the bag dropped next to the door when Angela sniffled and turned away. _Great Stephanie, really great. Maura told you not to talk to her and now you yell at her and make her cry._ She kicked herself mentally and went over to Angela.

"Listen, Mrs. Rizzoli. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just…" but Angela cut her off.

"No, you are right. I go there every day to see my baby lying in that god damn hospital bed not knowing if she will ever be my Janie again. But I can't stand to be there 24 hours. I just can't It hurts too much." She whipped away her tears. Stephanie let her talk.

"I'm grateful that Maura is there, I know she takes good care of my daughter, she always has. They are best friends."

"No Mrs. Rizzoli, those women are more than just best friends. They love each other from the bottom of their hearts and it's time to accept that. You can't make that disappear." Stephanie interfered. "Jane isn't that strong person right now and she may be never the same again hell no she won't after what she went through but don't push her away because of whom she loves." She went over to the counter and gave Angela a tissue. Angela took it and blew her nose.

"But it wasn't Janie who told me." Angela whispered. "Why didn't she tell me?" Stephanie sighed and looked Angela deep in the eyes.

"Maybe she feared exactly that; rejection." Stephanie simply stated but Angela protested.

"But I didn't reject her." Stephanie frowned at that comment. "Not yet. But your behavior definitely looks like that, at least towards Maura."

Angela stunned from Stephanie's bluntness just sat there with mouth agape.

"Think about it Mrs. Rizzoli, but I really should go now." And without another word from Angela, Stephanie grabbed the bag and left.

When Stephanie arrived back at the hospital she gave Maura the bag and told her from the incident with Jane's mother. Maura winced at what Angela had said but was some sort of grateful that Stephanie had tried to knock some sense in her. And she was right. She had to have faith in both the Rizzoli women. Angela would come around, eventually. And she was relieved that Angela wouldn't come in today. So she hadn't to explain why Jane refused to see her.

* * *

After having a hot steaming shower Maura felt like a human again. She smiled at the cloth Stephanie had picked for her. Some yoga pants and a Red Sox jersey from Jane. At least it was comfortable.

Silently she slipped into Jane's room just to see Jane awake and popped up against the pillows. She now had a thicker sheet and a new bandage around her head.

"Hey honey, you are awake." Jane nodded and patterned the side next to her. That's when Maura recognized that Jane lay closer to the edge and a little on her side.

"What's going on?" Maura asked confused as she dried her hair with a towel. Jane smiled and held out her hand.

"C…c…om he…re." Jane stuttered. Maura smiled and sat on the edge of Jane's bed. She put the towel down and gave Jane a kiss. Jane stroked Maura's cheek and looked up.

"Lll…lay…d…d…" This time Jane didn't get the words out. She was frustrated but Maura knew what she meant. She laid back and wrapped her arm around Jane. She cuddled as possible as it was closer to Maura and breathed in her scent. Jane had always loved Maura's natural scent but when she used that vanilla body lotion… she wanted to eat her up.

Maura stroked Jane's head for a while and then cleared her throat. "Jane?" she asked concerned if she had fallen asleep. Jane just squeezed her hand in response. _Now or never_ Maura thought.

"Stephanie bumped into your mother today." Jane looked up at Maura fear written over her face.

"No, Jane not here, at home, she went to get some clothes for me and your mother was there. They got into a little conflict, well not like you think but…." She sighed. "I told her not to talk to Angela but you know your mother." She took a deep breath and continued. "She asked about you and Stephanie yelled at her to think about everything you are going through, not to be so selfish and not to reject you, well and me though." Maura waited for a reply but there came none. She looked down on Jane who had been crying in silence. Maura sat up a little and shifted Jane so she could look her in the eyes.

"Hey baby, she will come around. I know she will. I'm sure she won't come in today so I'm gonna talk to her tomorrow, tell her your wish." She whipped Jane's tears away and kissed her gently on the mouth.

"Th…thanks" Jane managed. "I…I lllove… uu." Maura smiled and shook her head.

"You don't have to thank me Jane. It's taken for granted. I'm your girlfriend, best friend and work-colleague I would do everything for you and you know that. Deep down" she laid her hand above Jane's left breast "you know it." Jane smiled at Maura's gesture, grabbed her by the collar and pulled her down into a soft but passionate kiss. Everything that Jane needed Maura to know was that she knew. She knew exactly that Maura would do everything for her and it was time to give her something of that back.

So they both got as comfortable as possible and cuddled until Jane fell asleep in Maura's arms.

* * *

**I know not the best but I try really hard ;-)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey I'm back. Sorry it took me so long for another chapter but I had some private issues. So here another one. As always enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 12

Later the evening Frankie came in. Fortunately Jane was asleep and didn't notice. Maura silently untangled herself from Jane and got up. Frankie was a little confused why Maura signed him to leave. But he did. Outside the hospital room she explained to him that Jane didn't want to see anybody right now. She updated him about Jane's medical condition. He was visibly shocked to hear that his older sister had problems to speak properly and that they didn't know if and then when Jane's paralysis would stop. Maura never had seen Frankie like that. She tried to smooth him but he broke down. They sat a while on the floor and Maura rubbed circles on Officer Rizzoli's back. After half an hour he had composed himself again.

"You'll look after her Maura, promise me that." He had told her and Maura made this promise.

From the inside of the room Frankie and Maura heard a groan. She told him to leave but he couldn't. Jane had opened her eyes and started to panic when she saw her brother Frankie. Maura had broken her promise. She shook her head and waved her hand. Maura was at her side immediately but Frankie was the one who broke the silence.

"I love you Janie" he whispered, stepped to his sister and kissed her on the cheek. Jane started to cry and looked frightened at Maura; she would understand, she had too. "Frankie…" she started but he cut her off.

"I know I know…" he dropped his head and turned around. "I won't come back until you ask me too Janie, you know, I'm always there for you." He once turned around and looked at Maura. "You promised." He whispered. Maura nodded at him and then he was gone. She simply sat there and let Jane cry. Tears of anger, tears of relief and tears of sorrow. She asked herself how she should get Jane out of this hole. She feared that Jane would drown and slip into a major depression but she didn't know what to do. She felt like slipping away too. She was emotionally exhausted. She knew what was abroad. She knew that Jane required daycare from now on until she was capable to do certain things on her own. Angela would do it, even Frankie and Tommy would look after her, she was sure. But she knew Jane's pride too and it didn't allow Jane to rely on others. Maura smiled at that thought. Her fierce and independent Detective. She had to get her back to that and if it was the last thing she would do.

After an exhausting breakdown in Maura's arms Jane had calmed herself a little bit down. She didn't know what she would do without Maura. If it wasn't for herself, than she would do anything for Maura. She was her light at the end of a dark tunnel. At this moment she was Jane's only purpose on life. Little did Jane know that Maura's strength was tested, too? She didn't hear the doctor crying herself to sleep at night. She didn't notice the nightmares Maura had about losing Jane in this accident.

"I…I'mmm sorry." Jane stuttered and Maura kissed her on the head.

"There is nothing to be sorry about Jane. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. But you have heard him. He's there if you need him. You are his bigger sister. You only have to let him, okay?" Maura stroked Jane's head and kissed her hand.

The rest of the evening was very uneventful. The night nurse had brought some Jell-O for Jane and the first time this day a smile appeared on Jane's face. Maura was happy to that Jane tried to eat something but at the same time knew what a solid meal meant; Stool. Maura knew due to her medical training how to empty an intestine but it was humiliating for the patient. Having someone else taken control over his stool. She sighed and shook it off_. This is going to be hard for her_ she thought.

She wondered why Jane hadn't already asked about that Foley she had in her urethra. But she didn't seem to know that you also had to pee from the IV. She pushed that thought away. They had to deal with that tomorrow.

The nurse had also told them that Dr. Norton would come in to remove the stitches from both the incisions. She was very pleased with Jane's recovery by now. The pelvis was held together by screws and plates but also healed nicely. The head wound although the shunt was off didn't heal that fast but there was no reason for concern.

All in all Dr. Norton was astound that Jane recovered, at least evidently, well. They had discussed the option of another surgery to set the two vertebras, but the spinal cord was jammed too much between and they didn't want to risk cutting it and taking Jane's possibility of a recovery from paralysis. So they had to be patient and wait. Wait for Jane to recover completely to start physical therapy. Dr. Norton and Maura knew that it was a long way to pursue. Neither Jane nor the rest of the Rizzoli family knew the extension of recovery. _How do I tell Jane and her mother that she will live with me from now on? How do I make her clear that she will leave this hospital only to go to rehab? And how do I tell her that there is the possibility of never walking again? That she will have to rely on me or her family, that she may never get rid of the wheelchair?_ All those thoughts send her head spinning.

Jane lay still in the hospital bed and was now fast asleep. _She hates to lie on her back_ Maura thought and a single tear slipped the barrier.

Next morning Jane was awake early. A nightmare had disturbed her sleep but it wasn't Hoyt as usual. It was the accident. Sweat stood on her forehead and she was breathing very heavy. The heart monitor had started beeping and automatically called the nurse station. Stephanie, who still hadn't had a day off since Jane was here, stormed into the room to check on Jane. What she saw calmed her nerves a little. After over 10 days she grew slightly attached to the pair who recently been a resident in this room.

Jane trembled slightly and glanced over to the sleeping form of Maura. She wondered why she hadn't woken up at the noise Stephanie had made. The nurse stepped closer to Jane and looked her concerned in the eyes.

"Hey sweetie, everything alright?" she asked Jane in a soothing voice. Jane turned her head and looked at Stephanie. Since she was awake she was very grateful to have Stephanie as a day nurse. She was a very kind woman with a big heart and Jane appreciated that. Jane blinked several times.

"Nnnn…niii..ght…m….mare." Jane stuttered and Stephanie understood. She took Jane's hand an sat on the edge of the bed. Unconsciously she reached for a strand of Jane's hair and tucked it behind her ear. "You okay again?" the nurse asked concerned and reached for a tissue box on the side counter. She grabbed one and whipped of Jane's sweat. Jane, whom never had to rely on the help of others knew that it was just Stephanie's task but that didn't change the fact that Jane felt very uncomfortable. And Stephanie knew.

Meanwhile Maura had woken up but didn't move. She just lay there for another moment to not to disturb the interaction between Jane and Stephanie. Then Stephanie spoke up.

"I know you are uncomfortable Jane, but you don't have to be." Jane shook her head and wanted to cut her off but Stephanie silenced her with a finger.

"I also know that it must be hard for you to wake up and be paralyzed and have problems to speak. You are a not an uncommon patient. Most people react like you. They are angry, disappointed and afraid of how to go on. I won't lie to you. I've seen worse, both brain damage and spinal damage. But I have also seen less bad patients." Stephanie stopped and whipped Jane's angry tears away. She hadn't even noticed that she had started to cry.

"20 years ago, well round about 20 years ago, came a patient in, car crash like you, also paralyzed. I think he was from the fire department. He wasn't much older than you. His cord was jammed like yours and he had the chances of walking again in unforeseen future. He refused to have his family here with him like you, just his best friend; also a firefighter was allowed to see him." She stopped and looked over to Maura just to see her still lying on her back, eyes closed. "He was in here for about 3 weeks and then was discharged to rehab but he refused to go. He knew his chances but didn't took them and worked himself back. Three weeks after his release we got informed that he had committed suicide." Jane's eyes widened in horror and shook her head but Stephanie was faster.

"What I want you to tell you Jane is, you have a chance but therefore you need your loved ones. You need your family for recovery and Maura told me that you can rely on them if you just let them." Tears now streamed down Jane's face. Stephanie cupped her cheek and Jane looked up.

"Maura is a strong woman and I know you are too, but you two can't do that and your own. She will break under this pressure if she can't take a break if she needs it. She doesn't show you that right now but sooner or later she will break down." Stephanie continued softly. "You have to let us help you as long as you're here and you have to overcome your insecurities. There are going to be things we have to do for you at first but you will be able to learn them so you get your independence a little back."

Maura who had been listening to Stephanie's words let her tears flow free now. She wanted to listen to everything Stephanie had to say. She was a wonderful nurse and so grateful to have her here.

"It sounds harsh but we will or well Maura has to clean you out and wash you until you will be able to do so on your own. You will have to learn how to live with a wheelchair, how to get in and out on your own but therefore you need your strength. Not only physically but also mentally. Do you understand Jane?" Jane whipped away her tears and nodded. She really hadn't thought about all that. She was too proud to let anyone see her like that. But she had to in order to get back to normal. _Only the strong ones ask for help._ She had to overcome her insecurity not only for her sake but also for Maura's. Stephanie cleared her throat.

"I also spoke to your mother as you already know. She will come around Jane, she will like you will, okay?" Jane nodded again. "Thhh…ank yyy….ou." Jane whispered. She felt ashamed of how she had reacted but it wasn't uncommon. Stephanie got up and went for the door but stopped.

"I would say it is time for some Jelly now and then I'll get Dr. Norton for your stitches." Jane smiled at her and nodded again. She felt a little relieved but also afraid. She didn't knew how to ask for help. She sighed and ran her hand over her face. Right at that time Maura stirred and looked over to Jane.

"Hey honey. You're awake." She only said and got out off bed.

* * *

**So I know you all like Stephanie so I thought hey why not a little interaction between Jane and Steph. **

**If I shall go on or if you have any ideas, I'm all ears.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey I'm back. My muse recently left town and I'm a little ailing. So here another chapter. As always enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 13

Neither Jane nor Maura talked about what Stephanie had said. Maura was sure they hadn't noticed that she had been awake during this one sided conversation. She was just grateful that Stephanie had talked to Jane because she knew she wouldn't have done it_. Sometimes strangers are the one who enlighten the darkness_. Maybe Stephanie had enlightened Jane.

When both had finished their morning routine, well, Maura's morning routine, because there wasn't really a routine for Jane except to wake up and being checked on by Stephanie, Maura stepped out of the bathroom and whipped the rest of the water from her mouth. Jane just starred at her, a little envy. Maura frowned and took a step closer.

"Hey what's wrong Jane?" she asked skeptical afraid of what had happen this morning. Jane's eyes softened and suddenly she smiled. She signed brushing her teeth. She didn't felt for talking right now. _I taste like a piece of shit so I smell like one_. Maura smiled at her and stroked her cheek.

"You want to brush your teeth?" Maura asked her. Jane smiled and nodded her head. She felt so filthy. Well Maura and Stephanie washed her every day, her body, but not her hair or her face and especially not her teeth and she needed just one of those so badly. She wanted to kiss Maura she wanted to talk to her, even if it was just stuttered words. Maura meanwhile disappeared into the bathroom and came back with a cup of water and an already fixed toothbrush. She handed it to Jane and she eagerly started to brush her teeth. Maura chuckled at Jane's behavior.

"You could have asked earlier baby." She said just as Stephanie peeked in.

"Hey look at you honey." She laughed and closed the door behind her. "Brushing your teeth." She smiled and stood at the end of the bed. "Well when you finished your morning bath are you ready to get your stitches removed?" Maura took the toothbrush and handed Jane the cup with water. She took a sip of the water, gargled and spit it out.

"Y…yes" she said. Stephanie smiled and got out to get Dr. Norton. Maura put the cup and the brush back into the bathroom and wanted to sit back in the chair but Jane grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and pulled Maura closer. Maura knew exactly what Jane wanted and she was willing to give it to her. So she leaned down and kissed Jane softly. _Now we taste both the same_. The kiss became more possessively and Jane parted her lips licking over Maura's. Maura obeyed and opened her mouth to let Jane's tongue explore. Jane's hand wandered up to Maura's head and she pulled her further into this passionate kiss. They didn't recognize that Dr. Norton and Stephanie had entered the room. They both stood there for a while and watched the whole scenery in front of them; Stephanie with a bright grin on her face. Dr. Norton cleared her throat and Maura loosened herself from Jane's embrace. She flushed in embarrassment and Jane just smiled.

"You're doing much better today, hm?" Dr. Norton asked her as she stepped on the left side of Jane's bed.

"Yes." Jane turned her head a little and winced at the slight pain in her neck. Dr. Norton noticed and started to peel of the gauze between Jane's breasts.

"Well, when we are ready here, what about a nice sponge bath and then Stephanie can sit you up a little. Okay?" Jane took hold of Maura's hand, who stood at her side all the time and nodded at the doctor. Dr. Norton was a very gentle woman. After she had peeled off the gauze she disinfected the area and started to cut the suture. After she had round about fifty short pieces she started to pull them out. Jane just looked into Maura's eyes. She didn't want to see how she did it. She just wanted to get rid of it. Maura squeezed her hand slightly and kissed the top of Jane's head. Dr. Norton worked in silence and nobody in this room, not even Stephanie wanted to disturb her.

When Dr. Norton was finished with the chest incision she pulled of the sheets further to reach for the pelvic incision. She knew Jane couldn't feel anything down there but she would be as gentle as she was before. Jane just lay there and starred at what Dr. Norton did being aware of feeling absolutely nothing. She sighed and pushed the dark thoughts away. _You have to have faith_.

When Dr. Norton had finished her work she covered the naked Jane back up and took the bandages on Jane's head off. She inspected the wound and decided that gauze would do it to, so Jane could get rid of redundant bandages. After finishing her work on Jane she excused herself and stepped out of the room but first whispered something to Stephanie. The nurse who was cleaning up the doctor's mess looked up at the pair.

"So Jane, what about a bath? I get the supplies." She said and waited for an answer but Jane seemed to have drifted off to another world. Maura squeezed Jane's hand. "Jane, honey." She said and kissed Jane's forehead. Jane, not aware that she had drifted off, cringed at Maura's touch? Two questioning looks met in the middle. Stephanie laughed.

"Sorry to interrupt your train of thoughts Jane but I asked about the sponge bath." Jane just shook off her thoughts and looked at Stephanie.

"Y…yes… n..ni..ce." Stephanie smiled at Jane and nodded at Maura who understood the request. She excused herself from Jane and stepped outside with Stephanie.

"Dr. Norton requested a clyster." Stephanie sighed. They had talked about it and Maura knew it would come. Being not able to urinate was on thing but not being able to defecate was another and Stephanie and Maura had to teach Jane how to do it.

"I know." Maura ran a hand through her hair and leaned against the wall. "I know Stephanie but how. I mean I didn't do it in years and she is so uncomfortable already and…" Maura started to ramble but was interrupted by two strong hands on her shoulder.

"Look at me Maura. I'm gonna tell Jane okay? And you hold her hand and watch, for the next time, if she wants it to be you doing it until she can do it herself." Stephanie took Maura's chin and lifted it to look into those beautiful hazel eyes. Tears brimmed at the edge and Maura whipped them away. She shook everything off and composed herself.

"So you go back in and I get everything for the clyster and the bath." and with that Stephanie headed off to the nurse station

Maura let her head drop in her hands and sighed. She took deep breaths and stepped back into Jane's room. Jane, who she had nothing said to why she left with nurse Stephanie looked confused at Maura. Before Jane had a chance to ask if something was wrong Maura spoke up.

"Sweetie" she started and sat into the familiar chair next to Jane. "Due to your paralysis you have lost the ability to control your urine and your stool." Jane's eyes widened a little. She wasn't familiar with paralysis but she knew no function below the fracture meant any function at all. So no function in what her bladder her gut and her_…. Oh god…we hadn't had sex yet_. Jane swallowed and nodded for Maura to continue.

"Right now you have a Foley catheter in your urethra to drain your urine and well" she took Jane's hand and kissed it. "Stephanie has to perform a clyster now. I'm sorry honey. I would do it but I haven't done it…" Maura started to ramble once again but Jane cut her off.

"W…will uu ´… h…ere?" she asked frightened Maura had to leave for this procedure. On the one side she didn't wanted to let Maura see her like that, so vulnerable but on the other side she knew she needed Maura to be here for her and for the rest of it. Maura kissed the crown of Jane's head.

"Yes. And Stephanie will explain everything so I can do it the next time if you are more comfortable with me." Jane nodded and leaned into the crock of Maura's neck.

"And Jane" she started once again. "I'm here, no matter what."

Stephanie had entered meanwhile and prepared everything. She stepped on the left side of Jane's bed with a little tablet. On it was a tube of lube, the clyster with a tube and a bag attached to it and a bottle of water. Jane and Maura sighed both and Stephanie signed Maura to help her.

"Okay Jane. Maura certainly talked to you about what is now to come. First we are gonna get you on your side." Maura took hold of Jane's casted arm and pulled her to her while Stephanie carefully took hold of her waist and the managed Jane on her right side.

"I'm gonna talk you through this okay Jane? I mean it's gonna be weird because you won't feel that much. First I'm gonna insert the nozzle of the clyster into your rectum." Stephanie pulled back the sheets and took hold of Jane's buttock. Then she applied some lube onto the rectum and slowly entered the small nozzle. When it was in she let go of Jane's buttock. Jane's upper body was stiff like a board. "Jane, relax." Stephanie said and stroked her bare back. Maura constantly rubbed little circles on the back of Jane's hand and stroked her head.

"Shhhh." Maura whispered into Jane's ear. She only whimpered and nodded. Maura looked up and signed the nurse to continue.

"Okay Jane, I need you to listen. I'm gonna insert the water now. It's half a liter. That's not much. So what I want you to do is, when I tell you, to take a deep breath but try to breathe into your stomach. Can you do that? Because you need to hold that water in and you have lost control over your sphincter. Okay?" she asked again. Jane took a deep breath.

"O..okay. I'm rr..ad..y." she stuttered. Stephanie nodded at Maura and then she pumped the water into Jane's bowls until the bottle was empty. "Okay Jane. I need you to take that breath now and hold it as long as you can." Jane did as she was told and no water leaked out. Stephanie smiled and patted Jane's back.

"You're doing good honey. Hold it a little longer." But Jane couldn't her chest throbbed and her head felt like a bomb ready to explode so she exhaled. The water from her bowls flowed through the nozzle into the attached bag. Jane coughed and squeezed Maura's hand. She tried to hide the pain but Maura noticed. She soothed Jane and kissed her once again.

"It's over baby. You did great." She whispered into Jane's ear. Stephanie pulled out the clyster and whipped of the rest of the lube. She put everything back on the tablet and put it on her wagon.

She didn't want to distract the both women. So she started washing Jane's sore backside.

When she was ready she and Maura shifted Jane back into her old position. Stephanie stroked Jane's cheek and smiled at her.

"You did really, really good Jane. I'm gonna leave you two alone now so Maura can wash you." She gathered her things and left the room. Jane hadn't said a word and Maura wasn't sure if it was from pain or embarrassment. She pulled the wagon with the basin over and pulled back the sheet. When their gazes met Maura noticed that a tear had escaped Jane's eye. She just whipped it away.

"Everything will be fine Jane. I promised you." And with that she started her daily routine of washing Jane's battered body. _But I can't clean her soul_.

* * *

**What do you think? Oh and for those who hope Jane get's to walk again. I don't know yet. But I'm in for the long haul :-)**

**Any suggestions on the other characters?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry for the late update but my life is just a little roller coster like. I hope you enjoy as always and let me know if you liked it. Mary**

* * *

Chapter 14

The rest of the morning not another word was spoken. After Maura had washed Jane she brought back the supplies to the nurse station and went down to the small park of the hospital. She needed to clear her head she needed to compose herself and to get some of her confidence back. So she bought a coffee at the cafeteria and went straight to the park. It was a lovely day. The sun was shining bright and still some of the summer heat stung in the air. Some other patients from the hospital were also down; some alone others with their families and friends. Other than her and Frankie nobody had been by to see Jane yet but she was sure that Frankie had told, at least Frost and Korsak, not to bother his sister. Korsak had understood immediately. After the incident with Charles Hoyt she had blocked of everyone, she had also requested a new partner, afraid of the possibility to fail as a partner herself. So nobody bothered her and stayed away. They knew she would call if she wanted to see them, when she was ready.

She didn't really notice the elderly woman who took a place next to her. She was so lost in her thoughts thinking about Jane and her current state. Neither of the spoke a while until Maura felt a hand on hers. She pulled away and looked at the woman. She was round about sixty maybe a little older but you could see the live that had craved itself into her skin. She looked kindly at Maura and smiled.

"I'm sorry my dear." The woman said in a slight British accent. "I didn't mean to startle you." Maura frowned and shook her head.

"Oh, no I'm sorry. I… it's just…" She stopped and dropped her head in her hands. The woman smiled warmly at her and gently rubbed circles on Maura's back.

"It is okay dear. It really is." Maura looked up, tears in her eyes. _Who is this woman and what does she want from me_ Maura thought.

"I know how you feel." The older woman started. "I once was in the same position, I still am." She leaned back against the bench and sighed. Maura wasn't quite sure if she should just stay and listen because obviously this elderly lady had something to say or if she should get up and leave her alone. She decided to stay.

"My son is here." She looked down and continued. "He left like his father did, to join the army. Both came back, both injured. He is right now fighting for his life. I knew that when he would join that he would most likely suffer the same fate his father did. I knew it and I let him go." The older woman looked at Maura. "I'm not mad at him. I'm glad he is back although I don't know if he will survive. But I have faith that he will live like his father does. I will fight for him like you will fight for your loved one. Just have faith." She unhooked a rosary from her neck and put it down in Maura's hand. Maura wanted to say something and give her the rosary back but the woman folded both her hands around Maura's.

"Keep it. You'll need it." She said and stood up. Maura still taken aback looked down at her palm where the rosary laid. She shook of the shock and looked up to yell after this strange woman but she was gone. Maura looked around the park but all she could see were patients with their families and friends.

* * *

She felt warm. A noise rung in her ear, like shattering glass and crumbled metal. She tried to open her eyes but everything was a blur. Her head was pounding and she tasted something metallic in her mouth. But she couldn't move. Why couldn't she move? Everything felt so heavy and hurt like hell. She managed to open her eyes but shut them again as the light became unbearable. Then she heard a voice, a familiar voice. "Jaaaane."

"Nooo!" Jane screamed and bolted awake. Her breath was panting and she was trembling. A cold sheen of sweat was on her face. The heart monitor was beeping frantically like her own heart was. She looked desperately around to recognize where she was. And then it came back. She was at a hospital. She has had a car accident. Hoyt was dead. She tried to steady her breathing but failed. Stephanie who had noticed the erratic beeping from Jane's heart monitor and had heard Jane's frightened scream bolted through the door. The picture that she had in front of her was terrifying.

She rushed to Jane's bedside and grabbed her hand.

"Jane." She tried "Jane you have to calm down. You…" but Jane was too desperate to get air into her lungs. Stephanie reacted immediately and grabbed the oxygen mask for emergencies. She pressed it over Jane's nose and mouth and held Jane with her other hand down.

"Jane, you have to take deep breaths. Slow, deep breath." Jane tried to loosen the grip of the nurse's hand but she shook her head. Fear was written all over her face.

"No Jane you have to calm down, you have to breathe." Stephanie continued. Right at that moment Maura stepped into Jane's room and was shocked at the sight in front of her. She rushed to the other side of the bed and grabbed Jane by her shoulder.

"Jane look at me" she said with a stern voice. Jane who definitely had problems to adjust to her surroundings blinked several times and then turned to look at Maura. When she saw her face Jane's features softened and her breathing became steadier.

"You have to calm down Jane, everything is okay." Maura stroked Jane's cheek and smiled. Stephanie meanwhile hat loosened her grip around Jane's wrist and took a step back. Jane automatically grabbed for the mask but was stopped by Maura.

"Leave it on Jane, please." She pled and Jane obeyed. Maura took a step back and looked at Stephanie. The nurse knew what Maura wanted from her and she went to get it. Jane still certainly in a sort of shock had trouble to take deep breaths. Maura kissed her gently on the forehead and sat down in the chair.

"You had a nightmare, right?" Maura asked and Jane nodded in agreement. Maura just sighed and leaned back when Stephanie stepped back into the room. Jane's heavy breathing and her trembling hadn't really stopped and both were aware that she could also have had a seizure due to her brain injury. Maura knew exactly that Jane was about to protest, well even to hate her a little bit, but it was the only way to get her relaxed.

Jane didn't notice Stephanie back until she stood next to her with a syringe in her hand. Her eyes widened in terror and she started to protest as well as she could but Maura pushed her gently down.

"You have to calm down baby that will help you. I promise I will be here when you wake up." Maura said gently and nodded her approve to the nurse. Stephanie inserted the syringe in the PICC line and pushed the plunger. Jane tried to stop her but Maura grabbed her arm to prevent her from that. She immediately felt dizzy and then darkness overwhelmed her.

When they both noticed that Jane's body had went slack the let go of her and took a step back. Stephanie put back the now empty syringe in her pocket and looked over at Maura who sat slumped down in the chair her head buried in her hands.

"I don't know what happened Maura, but when I came here she was drenched in sweat, disillusioned and heavy breathing. I wasn't really able to calm her down." Stephanie stepped next to Maura and put a supportive hand on her shoulder.

"I'm going to talk to Dr. Norton, see what she thinks about it and we have to make and MRT." But she was cut off.

"It wasn't a seizure." Maura said silently. Stephanie raised an eyebrow and shook her head.

"How can you be so sure?" Stephanie asked and Maura looked up to her. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

"It was a nightmare. She told me, well I asked her and she nodded. She haven't had them since he was dead." She now more whispered to herself. Jane has had nightmares after his death, severe ones but Maura had been there to banish each and one of them. She woke up every night for about two weeks after the incident at the prison but after that and the check up at the department shrink she only has had one or two of them. Little did she know that this hadn't been Jane's first nightmare since the accident? Stephanie nodded and stepped back as if she would want to leave but turned around.

"Three days ago she had another one. She didn't tell me about what but it isn't uncommon to have nightmares from accidents. You should ask her about it." Stephanie smiled at Maura who just nodded and left the room.

"Oh baby." Maura sighed and gently stroked Jane's cheek. "Why didn't you tell me, why do you always have to be so stubborn?" she asked her now sedated lover. She leaned forward to kiss her and then settled down into the chair to wait for Jane to wake up again.

* * *

**I know just a short one but review if you like ;-)**


	15. Author's note

Hey folks

I'm so grateful for you all sticking with me. Recently I got told that I have been nominated for best new author and best plot at the rizzles fan awards.

Sooo, if you really think I deserve a vote maybe even a win I'd be glad if you would vote for me.

And I'm trying to update pretty soon, but life sometimes throws a curveball.

Kind regards

Mary

Ps: you can vote at from september 1st on.


	16. Chapter 16

**And another chapter. I had a day off, nice hm? well for those who wrote me to vote for me and this story here is the link:**

** voting starts at september 1st. and as always. enjoy**

* * *

Chapter 15

When Jane woke up the next time she couldn't really remember what had happened. She noticed that she had the oxygen mask over mouth and nose. _Is everything okay with me_ she asked herself_? I don't rememb…_ But she did, everything came back then. The nightmare, her panic attack and the syringe. _They had me sedated. Crap. Maura knows exactly how I hate this._ She has had ordered a sedation back when Jane had shot herself in order to save Maura's and Frankie's life. She had just woken up from her unconsciousness and wanted to leave against medical advice. So she had fought everything that was connected to her body and the nurses, so Maura had ordered a sedation to calm Jane down and to restrain her. She had hated it to see her best friend like that, but she knew it was for the best and Jane knew too eventually.

_I'm pissed. I'm pissed and angry and… fuck. I'm so fed up. I can't do this anymore, I really can't. How does she do that? How can she be here 24/7? I haven't seen her cry I haven't….. She is trying to be strong for you, you jerk. _Jane slightly shook her head to stop herself from thinking as much as crap as ever. She knew why Maura was here, she knew and she was so grateful. To be honest she couldn't do this. Sit here all day and wait to just see little baby steps. She knew that everything was healing just fine but still she couldn't walk, couldn't talk, she couldn't even write something down for a better communication because that damn truck had hit the left side!

Jane shook her head in annoyance. She hated herself sometimes. Her only one-man pity parties. _Nobody attempts but me._ She closed her eyes to get rid of those dark thoughts and to focus on, well on what exactly? Everything in her life right now was shattered into a million pieces. She lay here in a hospital made a cripple maybe for life and her mother didn't talk to her. _You need your family Jane. You need them for support. _Stephanie's words stung in her head. _Maybe she is right; maybe I shouldn't have rejected them just because I'm such a coward afraid that they won't love me anymore._ Jane's thoughts where interrupted by a still sleepy Maura.

"Hey you are awake." She smiled and grabbed Jane by the hand but Jane shied away and grabbed her mask.

"Y…y..you ssssed..a..ted mme." Jane pressed the words out. Maura knew that face. It didn't mean she was really mad at her but she didn't quite agree with what was done. Maura frowned but smiled.

"I know you hate it Jane but you had a panic attack. Stephanie told me you had a nightmare some nights ago too. Why didn't you tell me Jane?" Deep within she knew Jane's answer. Her pride did always get in the way. And she knew Jane was too proud to admit her fears.

Jane wanted to answer and tell her but she stopped. How could she how. It took all her strength to complete one sentence. How should she talk about her nightmare? Her head was still pounding and her ribs hurt. The pain medication worked that for sure, but it didn't take away all the pain. The one that caused physical one. But she had to explain why she couldn't tell Maura. She wanted it so badly, to open up. _Now I wanna talk and I can't_. She chuckled. _That's so fucking insane_. Maura looked at her with a questioning look.

"What is it Jane? What can I do?" Maura asked and took Jane's hand in both of hers and kissed the fingertips. Jane sighed. Maybe…

"P….aper a…a..nd pen." She stuttered. She was a lefty though but she belonged to the generation who had to learn to write with the right hand for school. Although Jane had always written with left.

_Let's see if that works_. She thought while Maura searched for the requested material. _Why didn't I think of that sooner_? Maura found a pen and a pad and handed it to Jane.

"Jane you are a lefty how do think this…" but Maura was cut off by Jane's waving hand. She grabbed the mask and placed it on her forehead. It was a little distracting. Maura didn't anything to stop Jane because she knew it didn't make any sense. Jane took the pen in her right hand, a little awkward at first and wrote her first letters. Then she nodded at Maura who took the pad. She was surprised that the handwriting was readable but it looked like that from a child.

"You know Jane you could have written a little more…" but before she could say anymore she cut herself off. Jane just raised an eyebrow and groaned. _Really Maura? You wanna discuss my handwriting, now?_ Jane just shook her head and grabbed the pad back to start writing.

After a short time she nodded at Maura and handed over the pad once again.

_I had a nightmare about the car crash and then out of nowhere I heard him, he was there Hoyt. How can that be, Maura? He is dead, isn't he? I killed him. _Maura handed Jane the pad back.

"Jane, Hoyt is dead. Yes you killed him. He can't harm you anymore. I'm so sorry that I wasn't here when you had your nightmare but Stephanie told me it wasn't your first nightmare. She said if you dream about the accident it's a way of process it. But you have to talk to me about it, okay?" Maura pled and put a hand above Jane's. Jane just nodded and started writing again.

_I was trapped and I couldn't move. You weren't there and I thought that's it. _And beneath it_: Where were you? _A single tear escaped Maura's eye. She whipped it away and sighed.

"Oh Jane. I know this must be hard for you. But you are alive, you made it. I'm so sorry I wasn't there with you. If I could trade places I would do that immediately…" She was cut off by a moaned No from Jane. She shook her head and started writing again.

I wouldn't survive this if it was you lying here. I couldn't have done this. I'm not strong enough. Maura took the pad from Jane and read.

"No Jane you are the strongest person I've ever known. You could do that. I'm the one who struggles. I'm the weak one. I…" Maura tried to choke back a sob but it escaped and so did several others. "I… I don't know" she hiccupped "what I would do without you." Jane was overwhelmed by Maura's breakdown. She had seen her lover cry several times, especially on the occasions with Hope and her rejection but never break down like that. Not even when Constance lay in a coma. She took Maura's hand and pulled her over to the bed. Grateful Maura sat down and cuddled herself against Jane's uninjured side and cried like she had never done before. Jane not sure what to do stroked Maura's head and tried her to sooth her.

After the tears had dried up Jane and Maura just lay there, Jane still stroking Maura. She knew that she also had to be strong, not for herself but for Maura. Together they could get through it, they had to.

"Whe…re w…wer uu?" Jane asked silently and kissed Maura's forehead. Maura sat up and ran her hands over her tear soaked face.

"I was down in the small park." Maura started and pulled something out of her pocket. "An older woman told me about her son, he is in the army and was severe injured. She gave me this." Maura opened her hand and showed Jane the rosary. Jane raised an eyebrow and took it from Maura's palm.

"She said I need faith to get through it." Maura just looked at Jane and waited for a response but none came. Jane just stared down at the black rosary. When she had gathered her thoughts she looked up at Maura.

"C…come he…re" she simply said and Maura complied. Jane took the rosary pulled it over Maura's head and then stroked its smooth cross. Maura didn't understand. She knew everything about Catholicism but never was the one to believe in it.

"Y….ou h..have to w…ear it." Jane stuttered and took Maura's hand in her own. Maura wanted to protest and say something but they were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. Maura allowed entry and sat back in her chair still holding Jane's hand.

A tall black doctor entered the room with a chart in his hand. He looked very handsome and had a kind face. He smiled at both the women and stopped at the end of Jane's bed.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Fisher. I'm the requested neuro specialist." Maura as kind as she was stood up and shook his hand.

"Dr. Maura Isles" she said and gestured over to Jane. "And this is my girlfriend Jane Rizzoli." Dr. Fisher nodded and opened his chart. _Well he's one to get it done over before he even started_ Jane thought and smiled at the doctor.

"Well, Dr. Norton told me about your case." He started and looked down at Jane's chart. "I know it is scary right now not to know what is going on in your head but let me try to explain it." He took another chair and pulled it over to Jane's bed. He liked to be more on an eyelevel.

"Due to your impact your brain has suffered from two different forms of hematomas and bleedings. Dr. Norton told me the surgeries went very well and the swelling of your brain is gone. That's the good news so there was nothing to remove and your brain was able to repair its self. Unfortunately your left side of the brain was bruised, well at least the frontal lobe. That is why you have problems to speak because it affected the center of speech." When he stopped Jane's eyes widened in fear waiting what he was going to say next. Maura noticed Jane's rising panic and gripped her hand to tell her that she wasn't alone in this.

"But you are a lucky one here Jane." He said and Jane let out a shuddered breath not noticing that she had held hers.

"You will regain full ability of speech again but you have to train that. It's like learning to speak again, like you did as you were a baby." Maura smiled widely and squeezed Jane's hand. Both looked at each other, love plastered all over their faces. Dr. Fisher smiled and cleared his throat.

"I would like to make some tests to see if really everything will be okay. So…" he pulled out his card and handed it over to Maura who took it. "I will be back tomorrow morning and then we will make the tests, okay?" It was more e rhetoric question but both, Jane and Maura nodded his approval. Dr. Fisher excused himself and said his goodbye. Maura turned back to Jane who was smiling. Maura only nodded and took Jane in an embrace.

"You will get back to your old normal Jane, like I promised you." She whispered in Jane's ear and Jane nodded against Maura's shoulder. Again they were interrupted by knock on the door. But this time the person outside didn't wait for an answer. Jane's eyes widened and she loosened the embrace.

"Ma…"

* * *

**And here she comes. A nice get together? or not... let me know what you think**

**Mary**


	17. Chapter 17

**And here a little bit of... drama. Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 16

Maura stepped back from Jane and let go off her. Like two teenagers who got caught fooling around they lowered their gazes. Maura sat back in her chair and lowered her gaze to the floor. There was nothing to be ashamed off but the last time she had seen Angela they hadn't really spoken to each other. And the fact that Nurse Stephanie had tried to talk some sense into her didn't make the whole thing more comfortable. Jane lowered her gaze and tried to make her as small as possible. Her normal instincts towards those situations and her mother were to run and hide. But she couldn't. She couldn't just get up and walk away or throw her some sloppy things to her head. If you can't walk and talk what do you do? You stay and maybe listen, even if you are the one person who should explain. So she looked up at her mother and was surprised that Angela wasn't angry. No she could read other emotions; fear, concern and love. Nobody said a word and all three of them were uncomfortable. Maura was the first one to regain her composure.

"I can go if you…" but she was cut off by Angela.

"No Maura please stay. I think it's in Jane's best interest if you don't leave her side." Maura's and Jane's eyes widened shocked by what Angela had just said. They weren't sure if this visit would end very well. Angela winced at her own words and stepped towards Jane.

"No Janie, listen…" Angela started but stopped. Jane tried to sit up but failed. How could she possible think she could face her mother with strength? Jane winced at the pain in her side and lay back down. Maura helped her. She lifted Jane's head and set another pillow under her. When Jane was comfortable she stepped back to her chair but didn't sit back down. Angela sighed.

"I'm not here to judge you. I'm here to say how sorry I am. It was wrong of me to be so harsh on you both." Angela sighed and let herself down in the nearest chair. Jane didn't know what to think of her mother's attitude but was willing to give it a try.

"M….ma its o…kay." Jane stuttered. Angela gasped and threw a hand over her mouth. She hadn't seen her daughter since she was awake. She had been updated by Frankie, who had been updated by Maura. She knew Jane's injuries and her problem with speaking but to see her baby struggle to express words was different. Silent tears ran down Angela's cheeks and she grabbed Jane's hand. Jane didn't shy away. She gently stroked her mother's hand as Angela mumbled repeatedly that she was sorry. Maura gently rubbed small circles on Angela's back to sooth the pain the older woman was in. Jane didn't know what to say so they sat there for a while and let Angela cry over all the pain anger and fear she had bottled up inside of her.

After what felt like a half eternity Angela's tears had finally dried out. She whipped her face and looked at her daughter. Jane's face showed fear but also sorrow and love. She also had cried but not for herself but for her mother. Maura just leaned back in her chair and watched both women looking at each other until Angela cleared her throat.

"I'm so sorry for judging you two but I… I.." she stopped and threw her hands in the air.

"It's just that I always wanted you happy baby, I never thought it would be with another woman." She turned to Maura and continued. "I love you like you're my daughter too Maura. I'm so sorry."

Maura kind as she was whipped a single tear from Angela's cheek and nodded.

"It's okay Angela. I understand why you acted like you did and I'm very happy you came around. Jane" she grabbed Jane's hand and squeezed it "needs you now." Angela nodded in agreement.

She had almost lost her daughter because of an accident she didn't want to lose her because of her own fault. She leaned down and kissed Jane on the forehead. Jane smiled. She was happy that her mother had come around. Angela sat back and sighed.

"I know it's inappropriate to ask because, well because… " She ran a hand through her hair. "How are you feeling Janie?" she asked in a whisper tone. Maura flinched because it wasn't a question answered with a few words and she knew how exhausting it for Jane was. Jane noticed Maura's reaction and shook her head.

"It….s o…kay M..maur." Jane took a deep breath and continued. "I…I'm f…ine M….ma." she stuttered. It broke both Maura's and Angela's heart. Maura's because she knew how much strength it for Jane took not to shy away from her own mother and Angela because it was her baby lying in a hospital bed once again but this time with more severe injuries. Maura didn't know how much Angela knew about Jane's injuries and the upcoming recovery but she had to talk to her about that.

"Why is she stuttering?" Angela asked now turning to Maura. Jane felt like a small child the parent's were talking about with her presence but what should she do? First of all she wasn't able to explain this medical stuff and second she wasn't able to talk that long to explain anything at all. So she left it to Maura.

"Y…you t…tell her." Jane said and dropped her gaze to the floor. She felt uncomfortable to have her mother here but she knew it was for the best. She knew she had to rely on others from now on, especially Maura and her mother but it felt also so wrong being thirty eight and being treated like a, well a toddler, no more like a baby who also had to learn how to walk and talk. _God I feel so ridiculous. If you're there and hear me, please, I beg you help me, help me to get back to normal again._ Maura felt also a little uncomfortable and Jane noticed but nodded in approval.

"Well Angela, you remember what Dr. Norton had said about her brain injury? That there was the possibility of neurological damage?" Maura more asked and Angela nodded. "Jane's bleeding occurred in the Broca Area, that's an area in the frontal lobe where the center of speech can be located." She paused and let Angela take the information in. She could see fear in Angela's eyes and continued.

"Right now she has lack of speech due to the bleeding and the swelling but Dr. Fisher a neuro-specialist told us today that Jane will regain everything back. The MRT pictures look promising."

Angela gasped at that information. "You mean my Janie will get back to normal?" she asked and Maura could see hope written all over Angela's face. Maura just nodded and grabbed Jane's hand.

"You hear that baby?" Angela asked excited and turned to her daughter. "Everything will be fine, see?" she stated happy and rubbed now one of Jane's legs. Maura and Jane noticed Angela's action at the same time and looked at her. Maura shocked by what she saw turned to Jane and searched for any emotions but she couldn't say exactly what she saw. It was a combination of anger, hurt, humiliation and maybe sorrow. Angela terrified by both women retrieved her hand from Jane's leg. She didn't knew what she had done?

"What's wrong Jane? Did I hurt you?" Angel asked uncertain. But all she got was a death glare from her daughter. Jane tried to calm herself down but it was too late.

"Jane you…" Maura tried to interfere but was harshly cut off by Jane who waved her hand in a silencing sign. Angela didn't know what she had done. _Hadn't Frankie told her?_ Maura asked herself. _He couldn't have forgotten such important information, could he?_

"N..no y….you d…did….n't h..urt m…me b…bec..caus I d…don't f…eel a…anyt…thing." Jane spat out. Anger now welled up in her and the heart monitor started to beep faster. _Please don't_ Maura thought. _This can't be happening_. But exactly that did. Jane's mother had come here to apologize and now she had made everything worse.

"Jane." Maura said looking straight into Jane's eyes. She had to try to reach out for her to calm her down. Any form of stress wasn't good in her condition.

"What do you mean?" Angela suddenly asked in a childlike voice. Maura who was usually was the calm and composed one surprised both of the Rizzoli women.

"Did't you listen to what any of the people who talked to you? To Nurse Stephanie or your son? To what Dr. Norton had told us when she came out of surgery?" Maura almost yelled. Her facial color had changed from pale to deep red and her hazel eyes had turned into deep dark brown. Jane still struggling with her own emotions overwhelming her gaped at Maura's outburst. She had seen Maura angry but never had she seen her yell at anyone, especially not family.

"Your daughter is paralyzed Angela. She has no feelings below the fractured vertebra. If you want to know exactly she has now feelings below her bellybutton." Maura hissed and pointed to Jane's stomach. Angela was shocked by Maura's reaction and sudden outburst. She wanted to say something but was sharply cut off by Maura.

"Out." She growled and took a step towards Angela who now stood next to the bed. "Leave." Maura growled once again. "And on your way out you should get an update on Jane's condition." Angela now looking hurt lowered her gaze. She knew wanted to argue, she wanted to say something but no words came out. So she turned on her heels and silently left the room. Maura turned around to see Jane silently crying. She shook off her anger and hurried over to Jane lifted her upper body from the bad and took her into an embrace. Jane now clung to her like a drowning person to a life vest. Sobs wracked her body and Maura soothingly rubbed circles on her back.

"H…how c..c…coul…d sh..e?" Jane hiccupped.

* * *

**Huh... that was drama, hm? Let's see what comes next...**

**Mary**


	18. Chapter 18

**This is actually an Angela chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Mary**

* * *

Chapter 17

"Why didn't you tell me?" Angela yelled as Frankie opened the door taken aback by his mother behavior. Well, he was used to it, hearing his mother yelling around sometimes, but never really at him, at Jane and Tommy yes, but never at him. She stormed passed her son and sat on the couch.

"Hell to you too, Ma." He said with a frown on his face. He had absolutely no idea what was going on. But he was soon to find out.

"Why didn't you tell me about Jane's paralysis?" Angela once again yelled at her son. She was in rage. Frankie had never seen her like that before. Not even when Tommy had run over the priest. But he for sure had told her about Jane's condition. Maura had updated him on a daily basis because Jane had refused to let anyone near her, what he totally understood now he had a fury in his apartment.

"Ma, you need to calm down, okay?" Frankie said and tried to stop his now pacing mother. She tried to escape from his now soothing embrace but failed. She couldn't hold back the tears anymore. She slumped down and Frankie held her, rocking her like a child. He had absolutely no idea where that all came from. After several minutes of holding his mother he helped her up on to the couch. Angela didn't resist.

"She hate's me." Angela sniffled and Frankie handed her a tissue. He still had no clue what she was talking about.

"Why, what's happened Ma?" he asked cautiously. Angela huffed and let her head drop in her hands. After a short pause she looked up at her son and just shook her head. _I've never seen her so devastated_ Frankie thought.

"I came over there to apologize to both of them. My behavior wasn't really appropriate so I told them how sorry I was and Jane, she…" she suppressed a sob "she was stuttering. She, Maura told me that it was from the brain injury and that it would fade, or whatever she said but then, well I was relieved to know that Jane would be Jane again and then I…" Frankie cut her off.

"Ma, you're rambling. Please calm down and get to the point." He laid a hand on her shoulder and she took a deep breath.

"I… I rubbed her leg, like I always do to make her feel comfortable but…" she whipped away the now free flowing tears and threw her hands in the air. "Why didn't you tell me she is paralyzed Frankie?" Fear, agony, anger and other emotions were written all over her face when she turned to look at her son. Frankie blinked several times at the accusation but composed himself.

"Ma, I tried to tell you, but you didn't listen you were so" he stopped and sighed "wound up with yourself. I'm sorry." She looked up at him and took his hands in her own.

"Am I such a bad mother?" She asked in a whisper tone. Frankie's eyes widened in shock. He lifted her chin up to look her straight into her eyes.

"Ma, are you insane? You have been a wonderful mother to all of us and Jane knows that too, don't sell yourself so short. I mean, okay that was a real low blow from you and I'm sure Jane is mad, well angry even…" he stopped and crocked his head. He didn't found the right words.

"Maura yelled at me." Angela stated simply and started playing with her fingers. Frankie raised an eyebrow. That he couldn't believe. Maura would defend Jane, no questions asked, but yell at Angela, the normally composed Dr. Isles?

"Dr. Isles yelled at you? Dr. Maura Isles?" he asked in disbelief. Angela just nodded.

"You should have seen her she was like a fury." Angela looked down. "She threw me out." Frankie stood up and walked over to the fridge to grab a beer. He knew his mother wouldn't drink alcohol right now so he didn't bother to ask her. Instead he fixed her a glass of water and handed it over.

"She really must love her when she loses her composure and yells at her future mother-in-law." He chuckled slightly and sat next to his mother again. Angela glared at him and he just smiled apologizing.

"How do I fix this Frankie? I really, really screwed up this time. I came there to apologize and made everything worse."

* * *

Due to the late hour Angela had shown up Maura had rocked Jane to sleep. After crying over an hour she finally had fallen asleep. Maura had just held her and tried to sooth her but failed. She had never seen Jane this devastated and it had made her heart cringe. She was used to the usual strong attitude of Jane but even the strongest person can hardly get over all this without damage. When Maura had realized that Jane had fallen asleep in her arms she had laid her down and tucked her in. She had watched the pale and now skinnier woman in front of her. She shook her head and tried to stop the tears but once again had failed. _Even the strong ones fall weak_. So she had grasped the rosary in her jeans pocket and had pulled it out. She wasn't the one for unreliable things and that, belief and religion, was one of them. She had wandered over the smooth surface of the rosary and had started to pray. She knew exactly how to do, how to pray with a rosary and so she had done. She had prayed half of the night she didn't knew what else to do and sleep wasn't an option. She also had regretted her reaction towards Angela. She had been way too harsh but right at that moment it had felt so right. How could Angela have not known she asked herself over and over? She was Jane's mother for God's sake she had to know. Finally after praying half of the night Maura also had fallen asleep.

The next morning Maura woke up by the sound of her phone. Who the hell calls me here at that time? She glanced at her watch. 6.23 am. Maura groaned and tip toed over to her purse to get the call. When she saw the ID she frowned. Angela. Maura shook her head sighed and sneaked out of the room not to disturb Jane's sleep.

"Hello Angela." Maura greeted the other woman on the phone warmly.

"Good morning Maura. I'm sorry for calling so early. I hope I didn't wake you up." Angela said certainly. Maura smiled.

"Well, you did, but it is okay. Sleep isn't one of the common things at the moment." She could hear Angela cringe but let it slide and waited for a response. On the other end she could hear Angela clear her throat.

"I'm sorry if I woke you but" she stopped and sighed. "I'm so so sorry. I've been a jerk. I was so wound up with myself. Frankie told me yesterday that he mentioned it to me but I was so egoistic and just concentrated on my anger and disappointment at you." Now Maura cringed at Angela's words. Angela immediately recognized her mistake.

"Oh sorry Maura that came out wrong I mean…" Angela sniffled and tried to suppress her tears. Maura cut in.

"It is okay Angela. I must apologize to you too. It was absolutely wrong of me to yell at you like I did. I'm sorry." Maura ran a hand over her face and tried to shove the thoughts of yesterday nights events away.

"No, Maura don't. It was right of you and I know now that you two deserve each other. I couldn't imagine a better person in Jane's life." Maura smiled at the now warm words coming from Angela.

"I didn't listen. I ignored. But now I'm done with it." She gulped and continued. "How is my Janie and don't spare me." Maura took a deep breath.

"Well, you hurt Jane pretty bad. She cried herself to sleep last night." Maura sighed and added "you have to make it up to her but I don't know how. I'm not good at mother daughter interaction and relationships." Angela whipped her now falling tears away.

"Do you think she will see me? I mean I would understand if she wouldn't want to after yesterday but I have to clear this up. I don't want to lose her." She explained to Maura.

"I don't know if she wants to see you right away. Maybe you should try it a different way." She said softly and massaged her stiff neck. Angela understood what she was referring to.

"Maybe you are right. But please tell my Janie that I'm sorry and that I love her." Maura nodded although Angela couldn't see her.

"I will do that Angela." She answered.

"You have to get her back on her feet. I talked to the nice doctor of Jane. She told me about the paralysis." Maura knew that Angela was crying now but didn't mention anything.

"She told me that she could walk again. You have to help her Maura, please. If she can't ever walk again… she can't live in a wheelchair Maura, she just can't." Angela was now sobbing and Maura didn't know what to do.

"I promised Jane to get her back onto her feet, so I promise you the same. I will do everything to get her back to that but until then we have to support her, even if she tries to push us away, like she always does. She needs us now. All of us." Maura's kind words only made Angela cry harder. So Maura slid down against the wall and listened to the mother of her love's cries. After several minutes Angela had composed herself and sniffled.

"Thank you Maura, you are always so understanding and kind. I can see now what Jane sees in you. Please don't let her down like I did." Angela said in a whisper tone.

"I won't Angela. I promise you that."

And with that the phone call was ended. Maura got up on her feet and straightened her clothes. Then she looked up.

_Thank you, God._

* * *

**_A little fluffy? Let's see what comes next._**

**_Ps: do you want Jane to walk again? Well I think so, or not?_**

**_Review..._**


	19. Chapter 19

**Yoho. There's another chapter for you to read. So you want to see Jane walk again. let's see all I can tell you is, not now and maybe not soon. As always enjoy.**

**Mary**

* * *

Chapter 18

When Maura reentered Jane's room she saw Jane struggling with the sheet. Maura smiled at the sight and stepped closer to the bed. Jane looked at her with pleading eyes.

"I…I'm c…old." Maura took the sheet and tucked Jane in. She had absolutely no idea how it must felt for Jane to be so incapable of things right now. Jane was a lefty, so she had to do everything with her right hand and with that she was very clumsy. Maura just hoped that when Jane's pelvis and arm fractures were healed that they would get Jane mobile enough to get her out of the bed. In a wheelchair Maura thought. Even if she wasn't the one with the paralysis she couldn't even possibly imagine how it must be for Jane. She sighed leaned down and kissed Jane.

"Th…ank y…you." Jane muttered. Maura smiled and gently stroked her cheek. Jane was lucky to have Maura in her life. She would have gone insane if Maura hadn't been here all day and night and supported her like she did. Maura was Jane's rock and she knew it.

"W…who was o…n th…e ph…one?" Jane asked and Maura frowned. She thought Jane hadn't heard the buzzing of her phone. She sighed and ran a hand through her messy hair.

"You mother Jane, but before you heat all up, she is devastated about yesterday and absolutely sorry. She wants to apologize but I told her to wait for you to come around." Jane's anger and hurt vanished as fast as they had appeared. She was mad at her mother and she was hurt. It felt like being left alone by the one and only person you know who loves you unconditionally. And that struck Jane. She needed to work through this first and then talk about it, like about everything. So she skipped the topic.

"I…m hun..gry." Jane said and Maura smiled at her. She stood up leaned down for a kiss and went for the door.

"I'll see what I can get you." Maura smiled and left the room. Jane sighed and looked up the ceiling. She needed some time alone but also wanted Maura at her side, so she was grateful for the short moments to sort her feelings and thoughts out. She still had problems to adjust to her obvious fate. Paralysis and wheelchair. She had no idea how to go on from now. She had automatically lost her job. Cavanaugh wouldn't let her get fired maybe send her for medical leave but for how long? How long would it take to get back? And did she even get back to normal? It felt everything so weird. Her body didn't belong to her anymore. She was a burden now and she never wanted to become one. But here she was she peed in a bag not noticing it needed enemas to clear out her gut. _How can Maura even love me? I'm a cripple_ Jane thought and a silent tear escaped her eye. _But she has faith. Maura has faith so I have to have faith too_. She looked down her body and sighed.

After what seemed like eternity Maura came back with a tray in her hand and Stephanie behind her. Stephanie closed the door and smiled at Jane noticing her sad expression.

"Hey. How is my favorite Detective today?" she asked Jane and went over to the heart monitor to look at her vitals.

"O…kay I..I g…guess." Jane answered. She didn't know how Stephanie could work in such an environment for over twenty years. Seeing families devastated, seeing patients even die on the CCU. She was a homicide Detective though and she mostly hated the part with the next of kin of the victims. And Stephanie wasn't only there for the patients but also for their families.

"I heard of last night's incident with your mother Jane and I'm sorry but I know that everything will get better. You will get better, well you are already on a good way of recovery. Your vitals get better your scars start to heal and you will be out her as soon as possible, you'll see." Stephanie smiled and laid her hand on Jane's shoulder. Stephanie was such a kind woman. Maura sat down the tray on the table and waited for Stephanie to continue.

"So let's get some real food into you. You wanna sit up?" she asked and could see a slight sparkle in Jane's eyes. She knew that Jane had been lying in that bed for almost two weeks now and it was time to get her to adjust to the whole situation. Jane nodded in agreement and looked to Maura who just smiled.

"Okay. Then let's get you up. Maura I need your help." Stephanie said and glanced over to the ME. The nurse adjusted the bed in a sitting position and both women helped Jane in a comfortable siting position. The sheet fell down from Jane's torso and she sat there naked. Stephanie, kind as she was didn't say anything. Nurses and doctors saw their patients naked all the time. She handed Maura a gown.

"I thought maybe you could wear this now that the stitches are all out. Maura told me you were cold." She nodded towards Maura who blushed slightly. She still hadn't, like Jane, adjusted to the whole being naked thing. Stephanie pulled the sheets a little further from her body.

"Go ahead. I leave you two alone. I will get you later for your appointment with Dr. Fisher. "She said to Jane and left the room. Maura stood there with the gown in her hand. Jane cleared her throat feeling embarrassed by her nudeness. Maura blinked and looked down at Jane.

"Oh, ehm, sorry." Maura mumbled and helped Jane into the hospital gown. _Dammit Maura get your head out of the gutter. She is hurt and vulnerable and…. Paralyzed s_he thought. _But she still is beautiful._ She pulled Jane's hair out of the way and knotted the gown on Jane's neck. Then she leaned Jane back against the pillow in this half sitting position.

"Thank you." Jane said. Maura frowned and Jane just looked irritated at her. Maura smiled and crocked her head.

"What?" Jane asked and the noticed herself. She hadn't stuttered. A small smile escaped her lips.

"You didn't…" Maura started and whipped a tear of relief off her face.

"Y…eah." Jane answered and looked into those beautiful and kind hazel eyes. She knew what that meant. Improvement. Getting back to normal.

Maura blinked twice turned around grabbed the tray and gently sat it down on Jane's legs. Both flinched as the tray finally touched Jane's paralyzed part of her body. Jane just looked down, like a kicked puppy. Maura noticed immediately and grabbed hold of Jane's right hand.

"Oh Jane…" she said with so much love in her voice. "I can't imagine how this must be for you."

Jane looked up at her with a sad smile on her face.

"L…ike it's n…not th…ere anymore. Th…at's how it feels M…aura." Jane swallowed hard and closed her eyes in frustration. "Just give m…me t…ime to adjust…t. I…t doesn'…t feel r…real yet." Jane opened her eyes watery from the tears that threatened to escape. Maura kissed Jane's hand and nodded.

"I know honey, I know. But I'm here every step of your recovery. When you get to get released you live with me okay? We'll get that managed. I won't fail you." Jane just nodded not able to say anything right now so she switched topic.

"W...hat's up f…or b…reakfast?" she asked and lowered her gaze towards the tray. Maura smiled and lifted the lid off of it. Beneath it was a dish full of pancakes and fruits. Jane's face lit up like that of a child on Christmas.

"No b…bunny sh…aped." Jane pouted. Maura chuckled at Jane's comment and took the silverware. She cut the pancakes in small pieces and handed Jane the fork. Jane was surprised that Maura hadn't insisted in feeding her. So she grateful took the fork in her right hand and started eating.

Maura leaned back in her chair and watched Jane eating her first real meal in over two weeks. She ran a hand through her honey blond locks and smiled. It warmed her heart and took the fear that had settled in her heart since she sat in this particular chair hoping, praying, waiting for Jane to stay alive and to wake up. Now Jane was better each day Maura knew she had to fight the emotional and mental injuries to heal. A tear escaped unnoticed he eye. Jane watching Maura lost in her thoughts while eating noticed and stopped.

"Maur." She whispered, not to startle the woman. Maura looked at her and shook her head to regain composure. She now noticed the escaped tears and whipped them away.

"Wh…at's wr…ong.?" Jane asked worried and took hold of Maura's hand. Gently she rubbed small circles in her palm. Maura took a deep breath.

"Just lost in thoughts." Maura answered simple and smiled at Jane. "Nothing to worry about Jane. How about…" but Jane cut her off.

"No Maur. T…alk t..o me. P…lease." Jane was worried that her strong and confident ME would rather sooner than later break down under the whole pressure. She needed her family to help her too. She couldn't let Maura take that alone. Maura hesitated but Jane's emphatic cop gaze made her melt.

"I… I just thought about the days since you were here. The 8 days of hoping praying waiting crying for you to wake up. I was so lost Jane. I wasn't sure if I get you back." Jane winced at Maura's open words. She could barely imagine who Maura must have felt that she was possible not to go insane. Jane wouldn't have made it. She knew when sides were switched she wouldn't have been so strong like her love was. Maura continued and laid her hand over Jane's.

"It was so hard. I tried not to rely on science because that told me you were worse than you actually were and are right now so I tried to listen to my heart. Stephanie was such a good support. I think without her soothing words I would have gone insane." She gulped and bit back the tears that threatened to fall. If it was possible to have a physically broken heart then Jane's heart had broken right now in this moment, seeing Maura so hurt.

"I…m so s…orry M…aura." Jane whispered. "I'm s…sorry th…at I p…ut you th…rough all th…at." Tears were now falling from Jane's eyes.

"No, no, no Jane, don't you dare say that. Don't be sorry. It wasn't your fault to get hit by a truck, okay? And I know that too. It was just hard. I don't blame you, so dare you to blame yourself." Maura stated sincerely and whipped Jane's tears away. "Don't ever blame yourself, understood?" She put a finger and raised Jane's head to look her straight in the eyes. "This is not your fault." Jane slowly nodded and took the offered tissue to blow her nose. Maura took a deep breath to compose herself.

"All right sweetie. I state you are finished with your breakfast." She now smiled at Jane and grabbed the tray from her lap. There was a light knock at the door and shortly after Stephanie peered in. She opened the door and stepped at the end of the bed. She saw that both of her now most favorite women had cried but she didn't mention it.

"Ahh." She said and smirked. "I see there was somebody as hungry as a horse, hm?" she chuckled.

"Let's get you to your appointment with Dr. Fisher."

* * *

**Suggestions? Review ;-)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey folks. Here another chapter. There will may be two to three more chapters in the hospital an then there will be a time leap to recovery at home. As always enjoy. Mary**

* * *

Chapter 19

After they got back from the exhausting examination, two nurses from a different station wheeled Jane in a different room, not the CCU anymore. The room they wheeled Jane in was a private room. No other patients and no curtains which should give you a little privacy. Jane was a little unsettled due to the change. She had gotten very familiar with the very clinical room she was in before. But it was also a good sign that she was released from the CCU to a normal station.

During the examination with Dr. Fisher Maura had talked shortly to Dr. Norton who approved Maura's idea moving Jane to a normal station. Jane patiently had waited for Maura's return to go on with the tests. Maura shouldn't miss any of that.

Jane's head had been in the CT and Dr. Fisher had shown her pictures to see if she could recognize those and verbalize them. He was very pleased with the result. Also the CT had shown no signs of permanent damage. Jane's brain just needed to recover and the stutter would slowly fade and Jane would be able to speak normal again. Unfortunately brain injuries had also a reverse. Headaches. Jane would now have more often headaches and even migraines. But that was the best outcome she could have gotten, so she was relieved.

After the neuro examination Jane was brought into image diagnostic for further x-rays and MRT. For her it was an ordeal because a group of nurses had to assist with moving from bed to MRT or x-ray unit. She asked herself if that was now normal. If she always needed assistance to get out of bed into her new pair of legs; a wheelchair. She had tried to push those thoughts away but about what else should she think? That was her life now so she had to think about how to manage it without being a burden.

When Jane was settled in her new room, the two nurses left Maura and Jane alone. It was actually a nice room_. I don't wanna know what one day costs_ Jane thought. It looked more like a one person apartment. There were white nice curtains on the windows. The walls were painted in a kind of vanilla yellow. A flat screen hung at the wall above a nice wooden sideboard. On the left side to the bath was a normal wardrobe, not one of those which were embedded into the wall. Beneath the window stood a big sofa-sleeper with a nice coffee table in front of it. A big flower arrangement of red roses caught Jane's eye. _How had she? _

"Maur?" Jane asked and gestured around the room. Maura chuckled and sat down on one of the more comfortable chairs then in the CCU.

"As you can assume I didn't talk to Dr. Norton when I had left the room. I made some arrangements and Stephanie was so kind to help me organize some things. Oh and this" she pulled an envelope out of her purse "is from your mother." Jane looked from the envelope to Maura and back to the envelope. She wasn't quite sure if she should take it. Maura noticed Jane's hesitation and laid the letter on the bedside table. You read it when you think you are ready. No pressure from my or your mother's side." Jane smiled at Maura and looked again over to the at least a dozen red roses.

"Thank y…ou M…aura. I don't kn…ow what I w…ould do with…out you." Maura smiled and leaned down for a kiss. Jane grabbed hold of Maura's neck and pulled her closer. Maura surprised by Jane's actions changed position from chair to bed and pulled Jane closer. It was not heated or very passionate but it was definitely kiss that showed how much they loved each other. When air became a need both pulled slightly apart and Maura rested her forehead against Jane's.

"I know you would get through that without me. But before you object, I won't leave your side until I know you are independent enough to drive a wheelchair by yourself." Jane pulled a little wider apart and frowned. Maura immediately regretted her choice of words and wanted to explain but Jane cut her off with a small kiss.

"I know wh…at y…ou mean." Jane sighed. Her demeanor changed into bitterness. "I know th…at y…ou have t…o watch me. I'm a b…burden n…ow." Jane spat the last words out. Maura grabbed Jane's cheeks and forced her to look her into the eyes.

"Listen to me Jane." Maura said in a stern tone. "You aren't my burden. This will never happen. And I love to take care of you as good as possible. I won't be able to do that alone Jane" At that Jane looked at Maura hurt written all over her face. Maura shushed her and continued. "But I would never employ someone your uncomfortable with. I know your mother lives in the guest house but she isn't the youngest anymore so I wouldn't dare ask her, though it wouldn't just be the best." She hadn't noticed that she had started rambling until Jane laid a finger across her lips and smiled.

"You're ram…bling sweetie." Maura chuckled, let go of Jane's face, kissed her once again and took a deep breath.

"I asked Nurse Stephanie since she has been so nice to us, if she was willing to come by every second day. I also cleared everything with the hospital and she won't get any problems or salary problems. So what do you say?" she asked Jane hopefully it had been a good idea to have a more familiar person for daycare. Jane smiled brightly and nodded.

"O…kay. But no…body else. No…body else n…eeds to see m…e naked." Maura laughed at Jane's last comment and a single tear rolled down her cheek. It was a bumpy road ahead but Maura was sure they could manage it. They just had to. She couldn't let their relationship break apart because of… this. Jane wiped Maura's tear away and gently patted her cheek. Maura took hold of Jane's hand and kissed it gently.

"You know. I told Frankie a few days ago to move all of your belongings into my house, if that is okay. I mean you won't be there in a while and … and I thought that… I mean only…" she stopped and sighed. "I would have imagined a better reason or a better time to ask you but now I can't rally ask you anymore because you have no other choice but…" Jane silenced Maura and only nodded.

"Yes, I w…ill m…ove in with y…ou." She stated simply. "What k…ind of ch…oice do I h…ave." She smiled on the outside but on her inside it looked different. She knew she needed support and she was grateful that she could live with Maura now, wake up next to her every day but she could have thought of better circumstances. She still wasn't healed fully. Her cast would have to remain at least for another two weeks and until then she couldn't learn how to live in and handle a wheelchair. But she needed real physical therapy. She needed to learn how to get up out of bed with and without help, she needed to learn how to catheterize herself and to clear her intestine out. How to dress herself how to wash herself. It was a long way for Jane to go before she could regain some of her beloved independence. It was an emotional turmoil for her and it would take time to adjust and to accept her new life.

A light knock on the door startled both women who were wrapped up in their moment. Dr. Norton opened the door and peered in.

"Excuse me, am I interrupting something?" the female doctor asked and both, Jane and Maura shook their head no.

"Good" she said and entered with a chart in her hand. "I have your test results back Jane." The doctor pulled a chair over to Jane's bed and sat down.

"Your pelvis and your arm fractures are healing nicely. Also are your ribs. No problems with your damaged lung either. We should be able to remove your cast in about ten days. The removed skull fragment from your brain injury also has grown back in nicely." She sighed and leaned back. "The bad news or let's say the not so good news is that your vertebras have also started to heal but I really can't tell you anything about your spine right now. It still is jammed between those two and if there won't be a change in at least six month you may need reconstructive surgery." Jane gasped at Dr. Norton's information. The doctor noticed Jane's shock and went on. "Jane you have to know that it is up to your body now to get back to normal and we only interfere if we have to, if you want a chance to walk again. But right now it doesn't look like that this will be in a short time. I'm sorry I have no better news for you right now." Silent tears ran down Jane's face. She knew it. She knew that she wouldn't get back on her feet soon but to get it confirmed was another thing. Maura gently embraced her lover and comforted her as well as possible.

"I'm so sorry that I have no better news for you Jane. After lunch time Daniel will come by. He is our best physical therapist." And with those words she said her goodbyes and left Jane and Maura. Jane's body wrecked with silent sobs as Maura rubbed comforting circles on her back.

"I'm here Jane. We will get through this, okay. Please don't give up. I love you, no matter what."

After several minutes Jane had regained her composure and leaned back against her propped up pillows. She angry wiped away the remains of her tears and punched to Maura's shock into the mattress.

"It's j…ust not f…air. I s…urv…ived a se..rial k…iller. A…and now? I… I'm a cripp…le" Her eyes were puffy red from her crying but Maura could also see another emotion other than anger and hurt. It was fear. They both feared the same. Lifelong paralysis.

* * *

**I hope i am not to cruel^^**

**Review ;-)**


	21. Chapter 21

**So there will be a family reunion soon and then I'm gonna skip to Jane's new life at home and the obstacles it has. As always enjoy. Mary**

* * *

Chapter 20

The rest of the morning had been, except of the bad news from Dr. Norton been uneventful. After Jane's breakdown the nurses had given her something to sleep. First she had refused but after about five minutes of begging from Maura she finally had given in and taken the medication. She had felt exhausted, inhuman even. Everything was slipping apart from her. She was losing control over her life. When Jane had slept Maura had stepped out of the room and called Angele to tell her the awful news. She had to sooth another Rizzoli aver the phone for about forty five minutes before she told her to move the rest of Jane's stuff into her house. Angela had agreed and told her that Tommy and Frankie would help. She had also told her the decision with Stephanie. She had thought Angela would have been offended but it was quite the opposite. Angela had thanked Maura for watching over her daughter and that she must have been temporary certifiable not having seen how good they were for each other, not only as friends though. Maura had felt relieve wash over her after the talk. She knew Frankie and Tommy had no problems with her and Jane being together and Angela had finally accepted their relationship. Now they just had to adjust and accept Jane's new fate.

She also had looked for Dr. Norton to go more into detail about Jane's spine injury. But Dr. Norton hadn't told her any different from earlier the morning. They had to wait and possibly break and set the two vertebras again if there wasn't any change. But they had to wait and be patient. Both doctors new the longer Jane stayed paralyzed the lesser got the possibility of walking again. When Maura had returned to Jane's room Jane was still fast asleep. So she had grabbed the letter from Angela to Jane and decided to read it.

Now after twenty minutes off playing the do/don't game in her head she decided for the do and opened the letter. Before she started reading it she glanced over at Jane only to see her in a calm slumber. She noticed that one of the nurses had been in here because she was now on a normal IC not the PICC line anymore and the gauze from her head had been removed. She could see the forming scar of the surgery under her now re-growing hair. She smiled at that sight and let herself fall back on the sofa and started reading.

_Dear Janie,_

_I'm sitting right now in Maura's living room drinking her wonderful tea that you dislike so much. It already feels like a real home living in Maura's guest house and being able to have her as a second daughter. But I guess that isn't the thing I should write about right now._

_Janie, I'm so sorry for my behavior earlier. I was totally wrong about my doubts towards you and Maura. I must have been temporary insane not to believe in you two. I was raised as strict catholic daughter with this absolute irrational belief I must confess right now. How could God not love these two beautiful women in my life? If he thinks that love is wrong so he is wrong. I never doubted that you two belonged to each other as friends but it was something totally new to know that you two shared romantic feelings for each other. I was so wrong and for that I am so sorry Jane. Please believe me when I say I love both of you and nothing about that haven't changed. I love you and Maura as the daughters you are to me._

_After your accident I felt so lost. I was so angry at you two and I didn't know how to face Maura, you had made her the power of attorney with medical decisions so I felt replaced. I'm sorry for that and I am sorry for treating Maura like a stranger. I hope you both can forgive me. I just thought I would lose you and instead of being there like a good mother does I holed up and loathed in self-pity. I should have been there even it was just to have you push me away like you always do when you hurt._

_And I didn't listen to Frankie. He told me about your medical condition but I was too damn proud to listen to him completely. I missed that out. I acted like a total dumb ass._

_I'm devastated to know that you won't be able to walk anytime soon. I always thought I would lose my daughter to her job. That you would be severe injured by getting shot at or getting kidnapped once again. You survived so much in your line of duty and now it was just a damn car accident that brought me nearly to losing you. _

_I don't really know what to say Jane, I have to try to accept that you won't be the same again but I promise I and your brothers will be there for you as long as you let us and as long as you need us. Please don't push us away and let Maura be the only one you let in. We love you Jane and we are one family._

_I love you_

_Ma_

A single tear escaped Maura's eye before she folded the letter and was overwhelmed by an exhausted slumber.

When Maura woke up again a blanket was draped over her body she had subconsciously snuggled into. To her surprise Stephanie sat next to Jane and read her the letter she had been reading before. She stirred and stretched her sore muscles. Jane and Stephanie both turned their heads and looked over to a still drowsy Maura. Stephanie smiled and squeezed Jane's hand when she got up from her chair.

"I think I should leave you two alone now. Remember what I said, don't be mad at her, this woman has only good intentions." She grabbed the tray of food from lunch and walked to the door.

"Daniel should be here by and hour. If he lets you out of bed maybe you could ask him for a shower."

She smirked and winked at Jane. Jane only chuckled slightly and ran a hand through her messy hair.

"Got it. " Jane answered and waved Stephanie goodbye. Maura stood up and wanted to know what was going on but only found out that Stephanie already had left. She straightened her clothes and walked over to Jane.

"Hey s…leepy head." Jane smiled at her and interlaced her hand with Maura's. Her stutter improved every day. Maura was glad to know that at least this would get back to normal.

"How long was I out?" Maura asked and stifled a yawn. Jane glanced over at the clock on the wall. It said 3:20 pm.

"I d…on't k..now. But y…ou were d…ead to the w…orld." Jane said and slowly rubbed small circles in the palm of Maura's hand. Maura saw Angela's letter on Jane's lap and gulped. _She read the letter_ she thought _and she knows I read it first_. Jane noticed Maura's change in behavior and gently stroked her cheek. Maura looked up surprised to see comfort instead of anger.

"I know y…ou read it al…ready. I'm not m..ad at y…ou. But I would ha…ve pref…ered it to be you in…stead of Ste…phanie read it to me. She ha…s a noisy v…oice when she r…eads." Jane wrinkled her nose and smirked at Maura who was relieved at Jane's emotional state. She was now more put together. _Maybe she will grow strong out of this and we will be able to live a happy life, abled or disabled_ she thought. Jane took hold of both of Maura's hands and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Will you c…all my M..a and my Brothers?" Jane asked gently. "I… I think n…ow it's time. I w…ould like t..o see them a…fter Daniel was here." Maura smiled brightly and nodded.

"Of course I'll call and tell them you want to see them." Maura stood up and went over to her purse to grab her phone.

"I hope I w…on't be to ex…hausted after D…aniel has man…handled me." Jane chuckled at her own joke and ran a hand over her head. _You can do that Rizzoli. Be glad that you are alive. This is now your life for the time being so don't screw that up. _Maura looked up from her phone irritated by Jane's new found self-confidence. Jane only smirked at her.

"You know I t…alked to Steph…anie while you w…ere a…sleep. Well, o…kay she was the o…ne who talked more. She said I sh…ould be grate..ful that I am a…live. This is what I am n…ow." Jane said and gestured down to her legs. "She has seen whole f…amilies break a…part because of such a n..ew life sit…uation and I don't w…ant that to happen." She sighed. "Even if i…t means I won't ever wa..lk again I can't let that h…ave affect our life." Maura was completely taken aback by Jane's words but also silently thanked Stephanie for bringing Jane back to them. She dropped the phone on the coffee table and sat down next to Jane on the bed and leaned in for a very heated and compassionate kiss. Jane granted Maura access with her tongue and let her take the lead. When oxygen became a need Jane pulled away from Maura and gasped.

"Whoa, Maur, c…ool down or I want th…is go further." Maura crooked her neck and looking questioning at Jane. She didn't know what the older nurse had done with Jane but she had to thank her later.

"I asked St…ephanie if we c…ould have… you know." Jane smirked childlike and Maura understood but was too overwhelmed by Jane's change in behavior to say anything. "Sex." Maura's eyes widened and she leaned back.

"Who are you and what have you done to my girlfriend?" she asked seriously and frowned. Jane couldn't help but chuckle.

"It works, Maur. W…e can have S…ex." Jane stated simply as if this was the only problem right now. Maura just shook her head in disbelief. How could Jane think about sex right now? When Maura found her voice again she began.

"Jane I really appreciate your new found self-confidence and the fact that you start to accept the whole thing but are you being serious? The first thing that comes to your mind is sex?" Jane just smiled sheepishly and grabbed Maura's hand.

"No Maur, but th…at is a b…ig problem f..or me. The rest I c…an learn." Jane was right. The rest she could learn, except maybe the fact to learn to walk ever again, but she could learn how to live as a disabled person and be as maybe much as independent as abled people.

"I want to do this t…ogether. You and me." Jane said.

"I." Maura replied. Jane smiled back at her.

"I know. S..o your i…n?" she asked her lover who still had to manage the change. Maura embraced Jane and kissed her on the top of her head.

"Of course I'm in Jane, what do you think." She leaned back and kissed Jane gently on her lips. They were startled by a sound at the door. Both turned their heads to see a big muscular black American man in his thirties. He smirked at the sight in front of him and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him.

"I see you ladies have a good time. I'm Daniel." He introduced himself. "Shall we start?"

* * *

**That was fluff, hm? ;-) **

**Review if you liked it**


	22. Chapter 22

**Sorry it took so long but that was a little difficult to write for me. I hope you enjoy as always and don't forget to review. Mary**

* * *

Chapter 21

"You dressed?" the black man asked and stepped next to Jane's bed? Jane and Maura looked at him incredulously. Jane shook her head as if she had heard wrong.

"What?" she asked and waited for an answer. Daniel chuckled and dropped the chart on the bottom of the bed.

"I asked you if you were dressed. Panties, t-shirt under that awful gown?" he folded his arms in front of his chest. He knew exactly that most of his PT patients wore nothing or just a gown because they couldn't get in it.

"No, why?" Jane asked and smirked. "W…ant in my p…ants?" she asked bluntly and Maura groaned in embarrassment. Daniel chuckled and patted Maura's shoulder.

"I'm sure you have some clothes for her here. Could you please get them, then I can show you and Jane how to dress her." Maura only nodded and went over to the wardrobe to get some panties and a shirt for Jane. Daniel turned around to Jane.

"Okay Jane. You gotta tell me when your ribs or your head hurt. We have to stop then, because we don't want to get in the way of your healing, okay?" he asked as he pulled back the sheets. Jane nodded and took a deep breath. She hadn't seen her legs completely since before the accident. They lay there as if they didn't belong to her body. It was an odd look. Jane gulped. _You can do that Jane. You have to_. Between her legs lay a tube which she thought belonged to the catheter. _Great now they can see I piss in a bag._ Daniel noticed Jane's uncomfortable situation and grabbed her by her shoulder.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of Jane. It is not your fault that your brain can't control your legs anymore. And I think it is better than pissing in bed, hm?" he winked at her. Maura appear to his right side and laid the cloth at the foot of the bed. Daniel nodded and turned again towards Jane.

"Okay Jane. First off all we gonna get you in an upright position. Can you tell me where your feeling stops? I know where your problem is located but paralysis is different with every patient." Jane slowly nodded always a gaze away from Maura's kind eyes.

"Shortly above my belly button." She showed him where her feeling stopped. It was exactly beneath the last rib. Maura sighed. She had had the hope that her feeling would go a little further because thorax vertebra damage never directly meant paralysis from there down. Daniel nodded and thought about how he could train Jane to sit up by herself.

"Mhm. Okay first off all we gonna sit you up. I'm gonna help you now." Jane nodded and Daniel gently placed his arm behind her neck and softly pulled her into a sitting position. Jane could feel her abdominal muscles twitch because they hadn't been in use for a longer time. The pain in her ribs was acceptable due to the pain medication. Daniel let go of her and to her surprise she was able to hold herself a little up until his hand disappeared behind her neck again.

"Okay Jane, important is to get in this position. I know your paralysis not only affect your legs hips and bum but your abdomen area too. So when you are in use of both of your arms again you have to support yourself until you have learned to sit up with the help of you back and abdominal muscles. You understand?" Jane a little to overwhelmed by all the impressions only nodded. Daniel noticed and chuckled slightly. Maura watched the whole scenery from the end of the bed and waited for a sign of Daniel for help. She didn't want to interfere.

"Now Jane I let go off you and you try to support your weight with you arm." He slowly retrieved his arm from behind Jane and let go of her. She automatically let her arm support her upper body. It worked, even if it was very exhausting for Jane. A sheen of sweat formed on her forehead and over her upper lip.

"Good Jane, you're doing well. We're gonna sit you now on the edge of the bed, okay? Just try to support your weight. I'll do the rest." Jane was afraid and felt humiliated. She bit back the tears that slowly formed. _You can do that. You can Jane don't be such a coward. This isn't something you can run away from. Face it!_ Daniel gently grabbed her legs in the back of her knee and slowly turned her lower body part to the edge of the bed. Jane still tried to support herself but wasn't quite able to. Maura recognized immediately and stepped behind her from the other side of the bed and supported her. When Daniel let go of the legs again they dangled over the edge and Jane sat upright on the edge of the bed. Daniel smiled and held her gently so that Maura could let go of her.

"See, wasn't that complicated. Maura you've watched?" he asked and looked at Maura who nodded. She knew how to move dead weight. But she had never done it with a living person. Her patients were dead and they hadn't to sit up anymore. Or be moved into a wheelchair or the toilet, shower, whatever. Jane gasped for air and held onto Daniel's strong arms.

"That was h…ard." She said between deep breaths. Daniel smirked and watched over Jane's shoulder towards Maura.

"Has she had her hair washed or a shower?" he asked gently and waited for a response. Jane smacked him with her sated arm in the ribs.

"You wanne t…ell me I sm…ell?" Jane asked offended. Daniel rolled his eyes and could see Maura grin and shake her head.

"No. She gets her sponge bath every day but a shower wouldn't be the worst idea." Jane could hear the grin in her girlfriend's voice and tried to look over her shoulder.

"Hey! You t…oo?" both now Maura and Daniel laughed at Jane's reaction and she pouted. She indeed smelled like sick, hospital and sweat. Daniel who still was holding onto Jane turned to Maura again.

"Get the wheelchair for showers from the nurse station. If the ask you why, tell them I gave permission." Maura nodded and left the room to get the chair. He looked back down and could see that it took all of Jane's strength to hold herself up.

"Jane I know this is hard for you. But when Maura gets back you have to hold onto my neck and I'm gonna sit you into that chair, okay?" Jane groaned in response and nodded. "Good." Daniel was really kind man and he didn't push her. When Maura returned from the nurse station she wheeled a steal chair in front of her. Jane frowned at this sight but knew that this wasn't a typical wheelchair she had seen so oft now when she was in a hospital. Maura wheeled the chair directly behind Daniel. She pulled the breaks and stepped aside.

"Okay Jane, now you can hold onto me. You don't have to be afraid, I won't let you slip or fall." Jane nodded and lifted both of her arms around Daniel's neck to hold onto him. She moaned at the slight pain in her side from the broken ribs. He gently lifted her up and now she stood on her feet. It was weird because Jane didn't feel anything of those actions. He turned himself with Jane hanging tight on him around and sat her gently down in the chair. When Jane was settled he stepped back.

"See wasn't that difficult, hm?" he looked down at Jane who sat in the chair.

"N…o." she gasped and tried to adjust her upper body so that she wouldn't fall over. He nodded at Maura who understood.

"I'm gonna wheel you now into the shower. But first I'm gonna pack up your cast so it doesn't get wet." He pulled a plastic bag from his pocket and slipped it over the casted arm. When Jane was ready for her first shower he smiled down at her.

"Maura do you think you can manage this without me. I think it would be more comfortable for Jane." Maura who hadn't really spoken a word since he was here now spoke up.

"Yes from here I can manage it myself. I'll tell you when we are ready to dress her." With that he left the room to get a coffee and to discuss further things with the nurses. Maura smiled down at Jane who sat childlike in this very uncomfortable looking chair.

"That is ex…hausting Maur." Jane only said and looked up in those kind and loving hazel eyes. Maura understood and lowered herself to her knee.

"I know honey, but you did great." She grabbed Jane's hand and stroked it. "Let's get you out of this gown and into the shower." Jane smiled and nodded in approval. A real shower she thought.

Maura grabbed the handles on the chair and wheeled Jane into the big shower. The urine bag hung at its side. _Something Jane has to learn too_ Maura thought. She opened the knot behind Jane's neck and helped her out of the gown. Jane hadn't problems anymore being so vulnerable in front of Maura. Both enjoyed the shower in silence. Maura also got out of her clothes much to Jane's surprise. She had seen Maura naked in the shower at home but they never had showered together. Jane sighed. Maura noticed and cupped Jane's face.

"Just enjoy." Maura said and started the water.

After half an hour Jane was clean from tip to toe. She had indeed enjoyed the shower. Now her hair was clean for the first time after sixteen days. She felt better and refreshed. Maura dried herself off and dressed while Jane watched her, her eyes never leaving Maura's body.

"You…re beautiful, M…aur." Jane said and smiled. Maura blushed a little and turned around.

"You're not bad yourself Jane. Don't sell yourself cheap. Just because you are in a wheelchair now doesn't mean you aren't a beautiful woman anymore." Maura leaned down and kissed Jane gently on her mouth. When they broke apart Jane smiled.

"Let's get D…aniel back. I really w…anna get dress…ed." She knew Maura couldn't dress her alone. She needed to see first how it worked and dry her completely off. Maura nodded wheeled Jane back into the room and draped a sheet over her naked form. She didn't want Jane to freeze. When Maura came back Daniel was only one step ahead. She gently closed the door and Daniel stepped next to Jane.

"Feelin' refreshed? He asked with a grin on his face. Jane nodded and smirked back.

"Now you c…an't tell I s…mell." Indeed Jane felt refreshed and clean and even a little better. Her emotional state changed from minute to minute, but this was an improvement.

"May I?" he asked and pointed to the sheet that was draped over Jane's naked form. She gulped, closed her eyes and nodded. There was no other chance. He had to see her naked. He worked quickly this time. Daniel gently pulled the sheet from her legs and lowered each leg to the floor. Then he grabbed Jane's panties and gently placed each foot in the opening. After that he pulled the panties as high as he could. Jane nodded and he pulled the sheet completely away took hold off her behind her back and lifted her into stand. Maura helped him pull up the panties so that the tube of the catheter wasn't disturbed. After that he sat her gently down on the edge of the bed. Jane had her eyes closed. She didn't want to show them how ashamed she was that she needed help to get dressed. Maura noticed and gently rubbed circles on Jane's back to sooth her. Daniel pulled off the bag and then helped Jane to get in a shirt that lay on the bed. After Jane was dressed he grabbed her legs and laid them as gentle as he could beck on the bed and lowered Jane against the bedhead. She opened her eyes and took a deep breath.

"That wasn't that bad, hm?" Daniel asked her and stroked her cheek. "I'll leave you two alone. That was a good first exercise for today." He grabbed the chart from the bed-end and said his goodbye.

* * *

**Well next chapter there are gonna be some family time. And maybe I split the story into two parts but I'm not quite sure.**

**Review ;-) **


	23. Chapter 23

**Sorry it took me so long, but rehab is exhausting and my muse left me for a vacation^^. Like always enjoy. Mary**

* * *

Chapter 22

Jane was exhausted. Never in her life had her body betrayed her like that. She often went to the gym when they didn't have to solve a murder, so she was very athletic and her body very well formed although she was lean and lanky. Maura admired that. She loved the tall form with not so much curves like she self had. If Jane hadn't those typical Italian features and the long curly raven hair sometimes she would have passed as a male. Especially with her swagger. _Swagger,_ Maura had thought so many times since the accident. _Will she ever be able to blow me away with that?_

Today was Jane's last say. It had been over four weeks now and everything had healed well. Her hair had started to grow back at the place where they had opened her up. The cast had been taken off two days ago though that Jane could achieve a little more strength in her now fully healed arm. Even her stutter had fully disappeared and she was able now to talk normal again. After her fist session with Daniel Maura had called Angela to cancel for the afternoon. Jane had been so exhausted after just getting dressed and having a shower that she had passed out before she had hit the pillow. Angela and Maura had talked a little about Jane's development, physically and mentally. She also had told Angela to ask Frankie and Tommy to move all off Jane's belongings to her house. Angela had been happy to know her daughter close to her but she also knew that Jane wouldn't want to see her every day. They first had to reconnect.

On the second day Daniel had come early in the morning to have PT with Jane. Jane had just finished her breakfast when he had come in. First he had moved her legs to get a better blood circulation. Then he trained her how to sit up from a lying position. It had been a bit difficult due to that casted arm of Jane but she bit herself through. Maura never had interfered when she had seen Jane in pain or out of breath. She knew that Jane's pride still was somewhere in this stubborn woman, so she let her be, because it was a sign of mental recovery. After Daniel hap put her through her second PT ordeal Maura and Daniel had managed to get her into the shower. Jane had insisted to get a shower now every day after PT since she was up anyways. Maura had been more than willingly given into Jane's wish.

Later that afternoon Angela and Jane's brother had come by. At first it was a little awkward. Jane had been sat up against the headboard to train her abdominal muscles like Daniel had told her to. It had been very hard to sit up that long but she knew she had to get there to be able to sit upright in a wheelchair without a belt. So she had forced herself through sitting as long as she was able to until the pain in her side and head would be unbearable.

Maura had wanted to leave Jane and her family alone but all four of the Rizzoli's had told her to stay, so she had sat next to Jane on the bed and had held her hand for support. Tommy had been the first one to break the silence. It first started in small talk but it had gotten serious very fast. Maura had told them about Jane's medical condition and the PT, how it would go on from now. After clearing up all questions the two brothers had had, they had left their mother, Jane and Maura alone to talk in private. Frankie and Tommy had been shocked to see Jane broken like that but hadn't shown it. They also knew that Jane had tried her best to fake the best I'm fine smile she could manage. Outside the door Frankie had called Frost to update him and Korsak. They hadn't been to the hospital to visit Jane because both knew that she would have thrown them out if they had shown up. So they had tried to get daily update weather from Frankie or from Maura.

Inside the room Maura had settled on the big sofa and watched the awkward interaction between the two Rizzoli women. She had told Jane that she would only interfere if her mother would purposely hurt her own daughter. So she had watched the conversation and listened to the always repeating sentence: I'm so sorry Janie. After round about half an hour Maura had excused herself and stepped outside to give them space. She knew that they both needed to be in private to talk openly. So she had gone to the cafeteria and given herself a little break from everything. She had talked Frankie and Tommy into helping reorganizing the house for Jane so she could live there without barriers.

After an hour she had said her goodbye to the both men and hand went upstairs into Jane's room. What she had seen there had pleased her. Both women had been wrapped up in a heart melting embrace. She knew from that moment on that Jane had every possible way of support she needed for her recovery and her new life. They had chatted a little longer and Maura had talked Jane and Angela into a more recent visiting because she needed the time to organize some work that had to be finished when Jane was released from the hospital into her care. After over two hours of planning talking and some more tears Angela and Jane were relieved that their rift had been repaired and Angela had left the hospital only to be back the next morning.

When Angela had been at the hospital Maura had left for the renovating in the bathroom, the bedroom and the living room. Everything had to be perfect for Jane. So she had organized a firm who could manage all the things she wanted and needed for Jane within ten days. The had built a ramp on the front and backdoor, a lifting system in the tub, handles everywhere Maura thought they were needed and a lift at the stairs up to the first floor. After hours of absence from Jane everyday she came back at least in the afternoon. Sometimes Jane had been asleep from her PT. Angela had updated her on Jane's progress she made every day since Daniel had started with the PT.

After a week of PT Jane had been able to get into the wheelchair by herself although she still had a casted arm. She was very pleased with herself because she needed to be a little independent. So by the end of her hospital stay she was practically able to live on her own, if she had needed to. Stephanie, who had still come by every day, had explained Jane how to catheterize herself. Due to the fracture of the thorax vertebra she needed medication for her bladder because of the paralysis the muscle was limp and that meant a cramping bladder which could, without medication result in infections and kidney diseases. She had shown her also how to empty her intestines. For Jane it was important to keep a schedule, also because of the location of the paralysis. Jane hadn't been pleased to know that she now had to keep schedule for the most natural thing in the world.

Maura never had left Jane at night, even if the alteration went until late afternoon or even the evenings. She knew she needed Jane and so needed Jane Maura. When the last day of her stay had finally come everyone was exited. Frankie and Tommy had come by and so had her mother.

"How are you doing?" Frankie asked his sister as she wheeled out of the bathroom. Jane smiled and ran a hand through her fresh washed hair.

"I feel quite good. No pain anymore I can manage to go alone to the bath, to the bed, everything works out just fine. No shitting in the pants." She answered and looked up to her brother with a smirk on her face. He knew that Jane still was in pain. His mother had told him how Jane had pushed herself through every PT but he didn't say anything, he knew his sister almost better than anyone, except Maura. So he just chuckled.

Angela sat on the chair next to the bed and watched Jane interact with her son and was pleased that Jane's humor came back every day a little more. If Jane could mock anybody then everything would turn out fine.

Stephanie and Dr. Norton had already been in to say their goodbyes. At least until Stephanie started at Jane's and Maura's as daycare, even if Jane had insisted that she didn't need anyone to babysit her. But Stephanie had explained how difficult it would be the first weeks at home in a now new environment. Jane had to learn everything new, how to move how to get in the tub and so on. Dr. Norton had told her that she didn't want to see Jane unless she needed surgery for her vertebras but she was now confident that Jane would be able to walk again.

"Where the hell are Maura and Tommy by the way?" Jane asked her mother. While Jane had been in the bathroom to get herself ready Maura and Tommy had disappeared.

"They should be back in a few." Frankie answered and smirked like a little child on Christmas. He knew what Maura and Tommy were getting down from the car. Angela only chuckled at Jane's impatience.

"What is going on?" Jane asked suspicious and frowned at her brother and her mother. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and waited. But she didn't get an answer. Right at that moment the door opened and Maura, Tommy and Daniel stepped in. She didn't see it at first because Maura and Tommy blocked her view but then they stepped out of the way and Jane saw a very sporty looking wheelchair with Boston Red Sox spike guards. Daniel wheeled the chair next to Jane and smiled his brightest smile.

"Whoa, what the hell…" Jane got out and looked in between the chair and Maura. She chuckled bent down to Jane and gave her a kiss. "Is this…?" She started but lost her voice. In front of her stood her own new wheelchair with spike guards from her favorite team. Tommy was the first who spook up.

"That's cool, hm, now you can impress the ladies out there." He smirked but got a slap on the back of his head from his mother.

"Jane already has a lady." She only stated and smiled back at Jane and then Maura.

Maura got on eye-level with Jane and took hold of Jane's hands.

"I knew you wanted something more… well sporty looking. So I looked up every firm producing wheelchairs. This one is from a firm called Otto Bock from Germany. It's the newest model called Ventus, good looking and very practically. Only weighs 11 kilograms so it's easy to pack up for me and you." She smiled at Jane who had tears in her eyes. The frame was red, the color of the Red Sox.

"The guards were Frankie's and Tommy's idea. They are especially designed for your wheelchair and you are the only one who has them." She added and sat on the bed. The whole Rizzoli family, Daniel and Maura smiled at Jane who couldn't trust her eyes. Jane had been afraid that she had to use the typical wheelchairs like they used in hospitals but this one was way better she had imagined.

"I don't know what to say. This is… " she stopped and scratched her eyebrow. "cool. I thought I had to use this one." She said and pointed at the one she was sitting in. She grabbed Maura by her hand and pulled her into a hot kiss. When they pulled apart Maura and Jane smiled at each other.

"Thank you." Jan whispered and leaned against Maura's forehead. Maura only nodded and got up.

Daniel pulled the breaks and Jane managed herself from one chair to the other. It was a very comfortable and new feeling. When she was seated she smiled at her family.

"So what now? Can we go home now? I'm starving and you" she pointed at her mother "promised me Gnocchi and Cannoli."

Everybody burst into laughter. Maura smiled down at Jane and squeezed her shoulder. She knew that at least now everything would work out fine for the moment. Frankie grabbed Jane's and Maura's bags and opened the door. Daniel leaned down and hugged Jane gently.

"I don't want to see you again except for PT to learn how to walk again. Understood?" He smiled at her and Jane nodded in approval.

"I will she said and wheeled herself out of the room." Maura and Angela followed her and watched very closely how Jane managed the new chair. Angela leaned in.

"You did well, you know. I was so wrong at the beginning. I underestimated your relationship. I'm so glad that Jane has you." She said and left a stunned Maura behind to catch up with her daughter. When Maura had composed herself she hurried behind and smiled. _It will be fine. Everything will be fine._ She thought when they all stepped into the elevator.

* * *

**Well that was the last one for this story. I decided to write the whole "recovery at home story" as a sequel if you don't mind.**

**I hope I can start soon but it won't be as fast as this one because my teacher training starts soon.**

**I hope you all enjoyed my story so far and please vote for it^^**

**Mary**


End file.
